英语幽默爆笑笑话7篇

　　下面是学习啦小编整理的英语幽默爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：Class and Ass

　　Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.

　　A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec.

　　Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out thel.

　　班和笨驴

　　格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：劳里教授今天不会他的班。

　　一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母c。

　　后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?

　　Rain. said the clerk.

　　一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。然后经理把店员拉到一边：千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?

　　雨，店员说。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：Raccoons

　　Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.

　　I don't know why she's so concerned, he added. She's been married three times.

　　浣熊

　　我在州政府鱼类和野生动物部门工作时，负责向居民们出借捕浣熊的装备。一个人捕获了一只猎物，他打电话来询问浣熊是否终生只有一个伴侣。他说他的女儿担心他们可能拆散了一对终生伴侣。

　　我不知道她为什么这么关心这事，他补充说，她自己已经结过三次婚了。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：Creative

　　Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

　　I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

　　创造性

　　第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。

　　我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：Is he dying?

　　A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

　　Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

　　一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

　　他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：The blonde and the farmer

　　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

　　一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下车来把......。

　　英语幽默爆笑笑话：太晚了 It's Too Late

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”