成为社交达人的12个小技巧

　　不论是在职场上还是在生活中，我们常常不得不面对这样一个现实：在跟对方不熟的情况下，还要努力去营造一个轻松愉悦的谈话氛围，实在是再尴尬不过。以下12个小技巧可让你快速走出尴尬境地，成为社交达人。

　　1 Talk about who you know and what you have in common. Mutual friends, bosses, hometowns, etc.

　　聊一聊认识的人或者双方的共通之处。比如共同的朋友、上司，或者家乡等等。

　　2 Ask relevant questions about life, work, hobbies, and pop-culture. Keeping abreast of current events will provide you with great conversation builders. Lead with “What do you think of…?”, “Have you heard…?”, “What is your take on…?”, etc. Stay away from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded stories.

　　询问对方关于生活、工作、爱好、流行文化等问题。密切关注时事，会让你有很多话题可以聊。用类似“你觉得……如何?”“你听说……了吗?”“你接受得了……吗?”这样的问句打开话匣子。避免谈论负面的或者争议性的话题，也别说太啰嗦的故事。

　　3 If you notice yourself getting bored with what you’re saying, stop talking, acknowledge the situation, and move on to the next topic.

　　如果你突然意识到自己说的话很无聊，那就别硬撑啦。承认这个状况，然后果断换另一个话题。

　　4 Listen more than you talk.

　　多听，少说

　　5 With people you have never met before, limit stories to the last few moments of your life. Bringup casual points about your current surroundings, like the funny music playing in the background or the tasty martinis the bar is serving.

　　和陌生人在一起的时候，把话题集中在自己近期的生活。也可以随意聊聊眼下的环境，比如搞笑的背景音乐或者酒吧里好喝的马提尼酒。

　　6 Know a few interesting historical facts, like this one: As a child, Albert Einstein seldom spoke. When he did, he spoke very slowly – indeed, he tried out entire sentences in his head until he got them right before he spoke aloud. Einstein did this until he was nine years old. His parents were worried about his lack of talking. But at last, at the supper table one night, he broke his silence to say, “The soup is too hot!” Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before. Albert replied, “Because up to now everything was in order.”

　　知道一些历史趣闻，比如下面这个：爱因斯坦小时候很少说话。即使开口，也说的很慢。他一定要在脑子里构思好整个句子，才肯大声说出来。在9岁之前，他一直是这个状态。父母对他的寡言少语感到忧心忡忡。不过，终于有一天在吃晚饭的时候，他打破了沉默，说了句“汤太烫了!”。如释重负的父母问他，为什么从前不说话。阿尔伯特回答：“因为直到现在，一切都井然有序。”

　　7 But realize that no one likes a person who thinks he knows everything.

　　但是，务必牢记，没有人喜欢一个自认为无所不知的人。

　　8 Prolonged pauses are the best time for that interesting historical fact. Most people would rather listen to you talk about anything than listen to an awkward silence.

　　如果长时间冷场，最合适的话题是历史趣闻。与忍受冷场相比，大多数人都更乐意听你说话，随便什么话题都成。

　　9 Watch your body language. People who look illatease make others uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you’re not.

　　注意身体语言。如果你看上去很拘束，别人也会感觉不舒服。装也要装得自信和坦然一点。

　　10 Let strangers interrupt you. They’re not being rude, they’re assisting you. Let them speak, and wait to be prompted before continuing your story. It’s usually a good sign that they are actually listening to you.

　　允许陌生人插话。别把这样的举动看作粗鲁无礼，他们其实是在帮你。让他们发言，然后等他们给你提示，再继续你的话题。这通常是个好迹象，说明他们确实在听你说话。

　　11 If all else fails, just talk about the weather, which always gets people riled up (unless you live in Florida or Southern California).

　　如果全都行不通，干脆聊聊常把大伙儿惹毛的天气吧(此条不适用于佛罗里达或者南加利福尼亚的居民)。

　　12 And have a few exit lines ready so, if needs be, you can both gracefully move on. For example, “I need to check in with a client over there,” “I skipped lunch today, so I need to grab a quick bite,” etc.

　　准备一些随时能结束谈话的借口，这样在必要的时候，双方都可以从容地离开。比如，“我需要帮一个客户去登记入住”，“我今天没吃午饭，所以我得赶紧去吃点东西”。

　　As long as you avoid anything personal, political, or controversial – at least during first encounters – and know which questions to ask, you’ll be talking the talk of certified socialite. Also, read Dale Carnegie’s classic, How To Win Friends and Influence People, for a great read on this topic.

　　只要闭口不谈任何私人、政治或者富有争议性的话题(至少第一次见面时不说)，并且知道该问什么问题，你就一定能像社会名流一般侃侃而谈啦。还有，读一读戴尔·卡耐基的经典之作《如何赢得友谊和影响他人》吧，这绝对是一本帮你完善社交技巧的绝佳读物。