英语笑话大全爆笑
冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
爆笑英语笑话篇一
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:
如果你要求休息一天，那就让我们看看你一直都要求了些什么:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in
which you already have 2 days off per week， leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
一年有365天可以用来工作。其中有52个星期，每个星期中你都可以休息2天，这样就剩下了261天可以用来工作。可是在每天当中你又有16个小时不工作，算起来这就是170天的时间，还有91天。你每天还要有30分钟休息喝杯咖啡的时间，算起来每年就是23天，还剩下68天。每天一个小时的午饭时间，你又用了6天，还剩下22天可以用来工作。
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available, for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I' ll be darned if you are going to take that day off !
通常每年你还要请2天的病假。这就只剩20天可用来工作。可我们每年还有5天的假日，这样工作的时间就减到了15天。每年还有14天的假期，这就只剩下一天了，如果就这一天你还要休息，那我就要疯了。
爆笑英语笑话篇二
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart,” thought the doctor, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” 'Then the child spoke into the instrument，"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
在去往幼儿园的路上，一个医生把她的听诊器留在了汽车座位上，她的小女儿拿起听诊器玩了起来。“我后继有人了，”医生心想，“我的女儿想要继续我的事业!”接着小孩对着听诊器说:“欢迎来到麦当劳，我能为您做点什么吗?”
爆笑英语笑话篇三
A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible.” The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him.”
一位精神学医师的秘书走进他的书房，对他说:“有一位先生在候客厅，他想要见您，并声称自己是隐形人。”医师回答道:“告诉他，我看不见他。”
爆笑英语笑话篇四
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
一个年轻人被一家超市录用了，第一天去报到的时候，超市经理微笑着与他握手致意，然后递给他一个扫把，说道:“你的第一个工作是把商店打扫干净。”
"But I' m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“但是我是大学毕业生啊。”年轻人有些愤怒的答道。
"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn't know that,” said the manager. "Here, give me the broom 一I'll show you how.”
“噢，是这样。”很抱歉，我不知道经理说。“把扫把给我，我做个示范给你看。”
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