英文笑话大全爆笑
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。小编精心收集了爆笑英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑英文笑话篇1
Three pastors
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away. "
Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away. "
The third said,"I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!"
三个牧师的故事
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员……从此一只也没有再回来过。”
爆笑英文笑话篇2
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.
"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But thegraduate students just write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。
“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
爆笑英文笑话篇3
A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told thefarmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field,, wash up for lunch and take time toeat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"
The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, andthe two men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's havesupper too. " They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ateonce more.
"Now that the meals are out of the way, " the farmer announced, we can go out and workall day without interruption. "
"Oh, no, " the farmhand answered. " I never work after supper.
一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上，他对帮手说：“从地里回来，又要洗手吃饭，又花时间，真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间，现在就吃午饭呢?”
雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，两个人又开始吃起来。
吃完后，吝啬鬼说：“既然我们还在桌子边，让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。
“现在三顿饭都吃过了，”农场主宣称道，“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那帮手回答说，“晚饭后我从不工作。”
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