搞笑英文笑话大全
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。下面是学习啦小编带来的搞笑英文笑话，欢迎欣赏!
搞笑英文笑话篇1
After a two-week vacation, a man returned to his office and one of his fellow workers asked him what kind of time he's had.
"I spent the whole two weeks helping my wife paint the rooms in our house," he groaned.
"Does she do that often?"
"Well," came the reply, "when we moved in a few years ago, the xiaogushi8.com guest room was nine by twelve. Now it's eight by eleven!"
两周的假期后，一位男士回到了办公室。一个同事问起他假期是怎么过的。
“我花了整整两周的时间帮我老婆粉刷房子的所有房间。”他叹着气说。
“她经常刷房子吗?”
“你问这个呀，”他答道，“几年前我们搬进那座房子时，客厅的面积是9X12英尺，现在它的面积是8X11英尺了。”
搞笑英文笑话篇2
Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing me, the children are acting up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人给她女儿拨了个电话，然后高兴地说：”哎，亲爱的，你好吗?“
“太糟了， 妈妈。我的腰疼得很厉害。孩子们一直在闹，房子里乱七八糟的，我还要为六为客人准备晚餐。”
“亲爱的，别着急，我马上就来。我会把孩子们喂饱，清理好房子，然后给客人们做一顿难以忘怀的晚餐。“
“你真是个救命的菩萨，爸爸怎么样?“
“你爸爸?亲爱的，你这是怎么啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”
沉默了一会，“您是不是拨错了电话?请别挂上，”那个声音变的有气无力了，“是不是这就意味着您不会来啦?”
搞笑英文笑话篇3
Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicappedpersons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be an disabled person."
当那些正常人因把车错停在专供残疾人用的停车位而被警察抓到时，他们总是能找到各种各样的借口。
一次，一个警察阻止一个人把车停在残疾人的专用位上。当警察问他是否知道这个停车的规定时，他说她知道。然后警察接着问他为什么还故意把车停在那儿。
那人回答说：“哦，上星期我摔伤了腿，大夫说，如果我不很好治疗，我就会变残疾，现在我想先体验一下作个残疾人是什么滋味。”
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