学习啦 韦彦 2016-09-27 11:20:47
善意的谎言A white lie
A middle-aged couple went to the gallery.
The wife who was nearsighted, stood in front of a mirror at the entrance, which she thought that it was a picture, and she saw a woman’s image and cried out, “Dear me, how could a woman be so ugly?”
“Don’t be so fussy,” said the husband. “It’s lucky that it is not a mirror and it’s a picture.”
猪和猫The pig and the cat
The husband got drunk again, and he returned home late.
When he got into the room, he saw his wife’s severe eyes and felt uneasy. So he went straight to the sofa and bent down to play with their cat.
The wife asked:” Hi! Is it interesting to stay with that stupid pig?”
The husband answered with a smile:” Darling, this is a cat!”
The wife said without looking at him, “I am asking the cat and who is talking with you?”
防止昏倒:Keep from fainting
A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency.
“I saw a woman hit by a car,” he said, “She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture.” “How horrible! What did you do?” “Thanks to my first-aid training I knew just how to handle it. I sat on the curb and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.”
One evening I drove my husband’s car to the shopping mall.
On my return I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit, when I finally entered the house, I called out, “The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.”
My husband looked up and said, “Mom’s here?”
When my son was a high-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk duanwenw.com to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"