英语爆笑笑话7则

　　下面是学习啦小编整理的英语爆笑笑话7则，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语爆笑笑话：When a Tiger comes

　　Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

　　One of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?

　　His friend replies: I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you.

　　老虎来了

　　两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。

　　当中的一个人从包里拿出一双耐克跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗?

　　英语爆笑笑话：

　　Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. What does she look like? the clerk asked.

　　My husband said simply, She just lost ten pounds.

　　Third door on the left. the woman replied with a smile.

　　妈妈为她减肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我们小两口一起去商场的路上，她别无所谈。我们把她送到女内衣部，在那儿分手，但当我们回来找她时，却找不见她。我想她也许会在试衣室，就问售货员是否见过我母亲。她长得什么样?这位职员问。

　　我丈夫直截了当地说：她刚减了十磅。

　　左边第三个门，女售货员笑眯眯地回答。

　　英语爆笑笑话：

　　A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called.

　　I didn't? the doctor says. Then what are you doing out of bed?

　　一人在购物中心偶遇他的医生。他走上前去说：六周以前我在你的办公室，你告诉我让我回家去卧床直到你来访。但你从未来访。

　　我没去吗?医生说，那你现在下床干什么?

　　英语爆笑笑话：Guns Buried in the Garden

　　An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in

　　prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.

　　He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

　　At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.

　　Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

　　His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

　　埋在花园里的枪

　　一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。

　　第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。

　　老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。

　　儿子回信道：你只管种土豆好了。

　　英语爆笑笑话：喂狗 For the Dog

　　The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

　　"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

　　"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

　　一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

　　”先生，什么事?“服务生问。

　　”我儿子的盘子里剩下许多肉，“父亲说，”能给我们一个袋子吗?我把剩下的东西带回去喂狗。“

　　”啊呀，爸爸!“儿子激动地叫喊着。”咱家养狗了吗?“

　　英语爆笑笑话：脑移植 A Brain Transplant

　　The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

　　"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For 00 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for ,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

　　The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

　　The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

　　一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

　　“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

　　病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。

　　医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”

　　英语爆笑笑话：最丑的孩子

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”