英语笑话大全短篇
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。下面是学习啦小编精心收集的短篇英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
短篇英语笑话篇一
A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, and then asked, "Can you identify yourself?" Looking puzzled，the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, and then smiled, "Yes, it’s me all right.”
一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道:“您能证明您的身份吗?”这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑，随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿，笑了:“对呀，这就是我。”
短篇英语笑话篇二
Teacher: Betty, you made so many mistakes in your exercise, surely your mother wilt blame you!
老师:贝蒂，你作业中出了这么多错，你妈妈一定会责怪你的!
Betty: Blame me? Oh, no. On the contrary, I' II blame her. Because it was she who did my homework instead.
贝蒂:责怪我?啊，不会的。正相反，我倒要责怪她呢，是她替我做的作业。
短篇英语笑话篇三
US and Russia arranged a competition to determine whose nation had the bravest troops. The two leaders arrived, at the designated hour, on a plateau in Finland high above the water. Each was accompanied by a battalion of crack troops, smartly uniformed. The leaders shook hands.
美国军队和俄罗斯军队举行了一次比武，看看谁军队的士兵最勇敢。两国的首脑在约定的时间来到了芬兰临海的一个高地上。他们分别带来自己最优秀的军队，穿着漂亮的军装。两国领导人握手后美国先开始。
US went first. The leader addressed his battalion of Marines:
美国领导人向海军陆战队说:
"Private Jones! Front and center.”
“大兵琼斯，出列。”
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.
琼斯走到前面向指挥官干净利落地敬了个礼。
"Private Jones! March to the edge of the cliff.”
“大兵琼斯，走到悬崖边上去。”
Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.
琼斯敬了个礼后走到了悬崖的边上。
"Private Jones! Jump!”
“大兵琼斯，跳!”
Jones just stood there, unmoving.
琼斯站在那里一动没动。
"Private Jones! I said jump!”
“大兵琼斯，我说跳。”
The man’s knees started to shake, but he was otherwise motionless.
他站在那里开始发抖，但还是没有动。
"Private Jones! This is your Commander一in一Chief. I ORDER YOU TO JUMP!!!”
“大兵琼斯，我作为最高指挥官现在命令你跳下去。”
Private Jones wailed out: "I can’t! I have a wife-and a family!”
琼斯悲痛的说:“我不能跳，我还有妻子和家庭。”
Jones was sent away for court martial. The US leader backed off in disgrace. It was now Russian's turn.
琼斯因此被带走去了军事法庭。美国领导人很丢人的回去了。下面该轮到俄罗斯了。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! Front and center.
“德米特雷维奇同志，出列。”
Comrade Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.
德米特雷维奇走到前面向指挥官干净利落地敬了个礼。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! March to the edge of the cliff.”
“德米特雷维奇同志，走到悬崖边上去。”
Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.
他敬了个礼后走到了悬崖的边上。
"Comrade Dmitrivich! Jump!”
“德米特雷维奇同志，跳!”
Dmitrivich jumped off the cliff.
他跳下了悬崖。
By some miracle, he was snagged on a branch and he landed on a crag some 50 feet below the top of the cliff. Dmitrivich was badly injured, but still alive and conscions. He was carried away on a stretcher. As Dmitrivich was carried passed Private Jones, Jones could not resist asking him: "Dmitrivich! How could you do it? How could you jump?"
奇迹发生了，他被一个树枝挂了一下，然后掉在了离悬崖五十英尺的峭壁上。他伤势严重但还活着，而且神志清醒。他被担架抬了上来。当他的担架经过大兵琼斯的时候，琼斯忍不住问他:“德米特雷维奇，你怎么能那么做?你怎么能往下跳呢?”
Dmitrivich answered: "I had to! I have a wife-and a family!”
德米特雷维奇说:“我不得不跳，因为我还有妻子和家庭。”
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