双语：如何摆脱无谓的烦恼

　　许多问题的造成其实并不是因为我们自己运气差或者别人有意为之。事实上，这些问题往往是由我们自己的坏习惯产生的。这里列出了十个习惯希望能够帮助你摆脱这些自己造成的麻烦又没必要的烦恼：

　　Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people's difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they're thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

　　不要过早下结论。过早下结论会通过两条途径为你制造麻烦。第一是，你会认为自己已经了解所有的事情的发展，所以不再重视这件事情，而按照自己假设的发展方式操作事情。可惜人类并不是一种会算命的种类，所以大部分的假设都是错误的，这样也导致的事情常常失败;第二是，你会猜测别人的想法并且会做出假设，同样的，这些假设通常也是错误的。而且这些愚蠢的假设也导致了你与他人的关系被破坏。

　　Don't dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don't exist or are so insignificant they aren't worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it's silly as well as destructive.

　　不要小题大做。很多人因为一些小挫折的刺激而做出过激的反应。小题大做使人变得紧张兮兮，产生过多的忧虑。

　　Don't invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What's the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

　　不要发明规则。过分的使用“应该”和“应当”是没必要的。这些词除了让你感到紧张外，不会有任何用处。为什么?因为当你使用这些发明的规则时，你会变得受约束和有孩子气的命令口气。而当你试图将这些规则强加于他人时，只会让别人对你产生厌恶的情绪(霸权，自以为是的)

　　Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what's there. Don't label. You'll be surprised at what you find.

　　避免给他人扣帽子。对别人否定的评价也会限制你对他的看法和想法。所以，避免预先给别人扣帽子，说不定你就可以发现别人其他不同一般的地方。

　　Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn't all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you'll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you'll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

　　别做完美主义者。生活并非十全十美的。若寻找一个完美的工作职位，却永远找不到它，而一些看起来好的也并非那么好。追求完美主义是一种精神基本，它会摧毁你的一切快乐并且建立一堆你不可能实现的目标。

　　Don't over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn't turn you into a genius. A single event-good or bad-or even two or three don't always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

　　不要过分概括。一两次的挫折并不意味着永远失败，几次成功也不能说明你是一个天才。一件事--好或坏--或者二或三件事并不代表永久的趋势。一件事的成败就是它的成败，不要过分夸大其失败的教训和成功的经验。

　　Don't take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren't talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don't especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren't personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

　　不要怀疑别人在讨论自己。大部分的人，包括你的朋友和同事，在99%的时间内并没有讨论你或者考虑你。很多职位的同事和邻居甚至都不会认识你。别人对你的态度冷热大部分都非私人的想法。不断地怀疑别人在讨论自己只会让你多疑和痛苦。