托福：20分上下的作文改哪里，才能成为满分范文

　　我们依旧贴心的把一些开篇提到的要点总结出来啦：

　　✎ 字数问题

　　写多少字先别在意，先保证自己30分钟能写全。

　　不要把某一个段落写的超级无敌长。

　　字数不能带来高分，写的好才能带来高分。

　　啰嗦是字数太多的罪魁祸首，尤其是听力越好的同学，他们听到的信息点越多，越容易啰嗦，那么平时要有意提高自己的整合信息能力哦。

　　✎ 立场选择

　　今天的这类“同意不同意”类型的题，你写“同意”、“不同意”、“中立”都是可以的。但要注意，有些题目，选择中立立场不会特别好写。

　　✎ 逻辑展开

　　主体段落基本都是遵循“1个topic sentence+1个例子+1个总结”。大的结构要知道，然后就是重头戏——展开方式啦。

　　对比、分类列举都属于常用的展开方式了。不管用哪种写法，都一定要细致，具体。我们选择“不同意的立场”举例说明下：

　　对比：现在有各种外卖软件，比如XXX，可以直接送到家门口。而过去我们只能出门买饭。

　　分类列举：在“食”这个方面，我们可以通过手机软件订外卖，不用再花时间出门买了;在“行”这个方面，我们外出旅游、办公，不带现金都敢出门了，有XXX/XXX等“无币支付”模式，让付款变得更方便了。

　　范文如下

　　▽

　　开头段：Nowadays, the prosperity of modern technology is being exhibited in almost all corners of society. No one shall deny the powerful role technology plays. Recently, a controversial issue was put forward, suggesting that technology actually makes life more complicated. However, as far as I am concerned, life has definitely become much more comfortable and convenient due to technology development.

　　主体段1：To begin with, advanced technology has made it easier for people to study. Thanks to the tremendous impacts of the information age, numerous sources of education are provided through network and mass media. The advancement in technological development such as computers and smart phones have brought easier access for the public to acquire knowledge and receive better education. With simple clicks of the mouse, the learning process could begin and run smoothly. Internet has created opportunities for all people to realize portable and customized education. For instance, useful reading materials could be downloaded and installed in portable digital readers. People no longer have to borrow printed book from library or purchase pile of heavy books from bookstores. Reading has become more convenient, and reading experience has improved as well.

　　主体段2：In addition, with technology development, communications between people are more convenient than ever. In addition to the traditional methods like making phone calls and sending letters or postcards by mail, new technology has brought forth many efficient channels that can help strengthen friendships across distance. For instance, among all the helpful online communication tools being developed recently is the one called WeChat. It is an app posing a great impact on our lives. Any WeChat user can send text and voice message, images or videos for free. They can also have voice or video conversations or conferences with this app. Faraway friends or family members can be reached handily at any time. They can even see each other through video chatting. In this way, the development in technology allows people to transcend the barriers of time and distance, making our life simpler and easier.

　　主体段3：Admittedly, by taking advantage of the Internet, more high-tech crimes may appear, such as credit card fraud and online robbery. All these venomous behaviors considerably harm people’s interests and social security. However, as the society progresses, the government would attach greater importance on these social problems. More relevant laws and regulations would be enacted and executed by the government to stop cyber and high-tech crimes. Thus, the merits of technology far exceed its defects.

　　结尾段：To conclude, concerning all the details mention above, there is every reason to believe that technology makes our life simpler rather than more complicated.

　　(注：此篇是童老师在学员原文基础上进行的修改版~)

　　公众号：纯青教育

　　本文为原创文章，版权归作者所有，未经授权不得转载!