英语笑话大全

楚薇分享 2020-07-06 15:09:19

很多英语国家在漫长的历史中，广泛流传着很多经典的幽默小笑话。今天，小编为大家准备了几则经典的英语笑话，给大家来分享一下，希望大家开心一笑，一起来看看吧!

英语笑话：先生，是去天体营吗?

Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"

在瓦湖岛上度假时，我们坐在旅游车里等候掉队的人。一位男子，明显不是和我们一起的，朝旅游车走来并要上车。司机会怎么处理这种情况呢?我们都拭目以待。司机拉长了脸，向车门靠过去，问道：“先生，是去天体营吗?”

"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.

“哦，不，”刚想乘车的男子回答说，迅速转身而逃。

"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.

“每次都管用，”司机眨巴了一下眼睛说。

【注释】

(1) be about to(do)(表计划)即将做

(2) straight-faced adj.板起面孔的

(3) nudist Colony天体营(裸体主义者实行其信条的场所)

(4) retreating quickly迅速后退。这是一个分词短语作状语，表示伴随状况。

英语笑话：您说我该怎么办?

A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .

一位男子来到医生的办公室。“医生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您说我该怎么办?”他问道。

"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.

“把勺子从咖啡杯里拿出来。”医生回答说。

【注释】

(1) stabbing adj.刺痛的

(2) spoon n.匙子

英语笑话：我要出去

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

在凌晨两点，酒吧店主锁了店门，回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟，这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业?”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"

店主非常气愤，砰地一声挂上电话又上床去睡。几分钟后又有一个电话，他听到还是那个声音问同样的问题。“听着，”店主嚷道，“不要问我什么时候营业，因为我不会让你这种人进----”

"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out“

我不是想进来，”那人打断他的话，“我要出去。”

【注释】

(1) obviously adv.明显的

(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的

(3) slam v.砰然放下

(4) interject v.突然插话

英语笑话：母亲的脚

To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.

为避免我们的狗，莱希，纠缠来访的客人，我母亲常在爱犬喜欢呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一个建筑商来谈居室装潢工程。

As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.

在这人和我母亲坐在餐桌边谈居室的修茸时，我母亲滑脱了她的鞋子，开始不经意地用脚摩蹭起莱希来。

My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.

谈话进行了半个小时的时候，我母亲突然感到很不好意思起来，因为这时她听到了莱希在前门外的犬吠声。

【注释】

(1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止

(2) pester v.使苦恼;困扰

(3) massage v.按摩;揉捏

(4) lounge v.懒洋洋地坐着或站着

(5) contractor n.承包商

(6) improvement n.改进;改善