托福写作解析:eathealthy
为了帮助大家高效备考托福,在写作方面取得高分,下面小编给大家带来托福写作解析:eat healthy,望喜欢!
托福写作解析:eat healthy
The food we eat today is much healthier than in the past. A/D?
该题为2011年01月08日大陆题
开头段(略)
First and foremost, granted, some critics may argue that, with the higher level of industrialization in recent years, the degree of contamination is improved to a higher level, leading to the environment worse than before, which is disadvantageous toward growing crops. Nonetheless, a closer analysis will reveal that a crucial fact is overlooked in this case. That is, good environment is no guarantee of food quality. The equipment for food preservation was simple and crude several decades ago. Besides, the hygienic conditions for food protection was worse in the past, which means that food at that time is not very healthy. For instance, several decades ago, most people were not able to afford fridge to preserve food. Instead, during that time period, salt was well-recognized as the only effective raw material to prevent food from decaying. Unfortunately, having cure food has already been proved to exert an adverse effect on individuals’ health. In contrast, with the rapid development of science and technology, more advanced equipment and highly developed transportation system promise the freshness of food.
Furthermore, nowadays, common people pay more attention to the nutrient value of food than before. With the advent of more nutritionists proposing a well-balanced diet, people are capable of being more healthy and fortifying their bodies against diseases. Specifically, many experts who are specialized in food industry today are more likely to recommend individuals to eat organic food, which has been verified to be more nutritious than traditional food.
Finally, contemporarily, governments put an increasing amount of budget for universities and institutes to do many forefront researches on food science. Accordingly, many novel types of food are created in the hope of coping with particular health problems. Here’s an example, diabetic food, which contains little or no sugar, is especially designed for diabetics to maintain their health. Without the rapid development of science and technology in recent years, such new kinds of health-conscious food can hardly be invented in the contemporary era.
By way of conclusion, weighing the pros and cons thoroughly discussed in the previous paragraphs, the ultimate summary is obvious-food provided in recent years is healthier than that of several decades ago.
托福写作解析:Eat out or eat at home
托福写作题目:
Topic:Eat out or eat at home?
Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
参考分析:
不要急于做出选择,先进行比较,然后根据情况选择:
去餐馆或者吃快餐的优缺点:方便、快捷、多种口味;昂贵、卫生可能得不到保障、快餐使人发胖;
在家吃饭的优缺点:干净、可以做出自己喜欢的口味、节省、与家人和朋友共同准备实物很开心;花费时间、可能做的没有餐馆那么好吃;
在不同的情况下会有不同的选择。周末休息应该跟家人在家里吃饭。与老朋友久别重逢应该找一家安静的餐馆……
范文:
选择在饭馆吃饭:
(1)节省时间,自己做饭很麻烦;
(2)能够品尝各种各样的美食;
(3)能够促进和朋友的感情。
Nowadays, some people like to eat at home and prepare food by themselves, but others prefer to eat outside in restaurants or at food stands. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to eat at home.(标准式开头,先阐述现今社会状况,再表达个人观点,开门见山)
Of course there are some advantages to eat out. Firstly, restaurants offer a more comfortable environment to eat and the food there tastes more delicious than home-cooked meals. In addition, eating at restaurants is a good way of getting together with friends. People also do not need to worry about washing dishes and cleaning. For people who are too busy to cook, eating out is certainly an ideal(理想的)choice. Furthermore, for people do not know how to cook and do not have someone to cook for them, eat out seems to be the only choice.(本段是让步段,先讲在外吃的好处一个是舒适的环境美味的食物,另一个是给不会做饭和不知做饭给谁的人提供吃饭的条件)
However, I prefer to cook and eat and home. The main reason is that at home, family members can prepare their meals and enjoying their food together, which can enhance their relationships. Family members can talk, make jokes and exchange feelings on current affairs with each other while preparing a meal. Parents have a chance to communicate with their kids and keep track of what they are thinking and doing; while children can learn to help with some household tasks and develop intimacy(与父母增进感情)with their parents. Image that you and your brothers and sisters help your mother to cook on a weekend, and enjoy the food later on(稍后), and you feel everything is so nice.(这是第一段论述在家吃好处是可以与家人增进感情种.种,以自己为例子显得生动可信)
Another reason is that eating at home can save money. The same amount of money that you spend on a meal in a restaurant can buy a lot more foods from a supermarket. You can use the money saved to buy a new cloth, or attend a concert.(本段是从经济方面来论述在家吃确实可行)
General speaking, eating out side is comfortable and convenient but eating at home has more benefits. I prefer to eat at home.(这篇文章是标准的议论文结构,没有特别华丽的语言,但是结构清晰论述完整,没有语法错误,这也是保分的必要条件)
托福写作致命伤 千万不要犯
1.用词不当
学生们写的作文里或多或少都会有一些用词不当的问题,但是要注意的是一些最最基本的错误是不能犯的。
In the show, if participators answer twenty problems that the host mentioned correctly, they will get five hundreds thousand U.S. dollars as a prize.
——problems应改为questions
2.拼写错误
这里的拼写错误不是指在考试时候的误打,而是本身对词汇拼写记忆的错误。
In conclusion, issue of whether parents are the best teachers is a complex one, requiring subjective judgement, consequently, there are no easy or certain answers.
——judgement应改为judgment
3.乱用大词
First of all, children can earn money from their jobs, although there isn’t too much, but they will keep their salary gingerliness.
这里的gingerliness根本是不知所云。该句子还有以下问题:
1)该作文题目是讲学生是否应该做兼职,因此children的出现就显得很莫名其妙;
2)although和but是不能连用的;
3)指代不明,they不知道是指代前面的什么;
4.表达中式
The second argument-it might have been noticed by others-is that in some occasion, it is quite difficult to compare parents to teachers because parents are a kind of people, teachers are a kind of vocation.
句子中划线部分的表达过于中式化。
5.表意重复
They shocked their friends, devastated their families, crushed their best friends.
前面已经提到了朋友,后面又提到朋友。
The show is so compelling but attractive.
compelling和attractive是同义词,所以这里这么写就让人不明白。
6.固定用法错误
To some extends, I agree with the author’s general assertion that if parents also have a comprehensive sense of professional knowledge.
——To some extends应改为To some extent
7.例证夸张
For example, when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer, the doctor cannot tell the truth, for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death.
虽然善意的谎言是必要的,但是其功效显然没有这么大。
8.成分多余
According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows that there is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs.
该句中的shows that是多余的成分。
9.词性混乱
However, the questions such as "Have you ever regretted marrying your husband" may be very privacy and embarrassingly.
句子中的privacy和embarrassingly应该改成private和embarrassing。
10.文体不正式
All of the players gonna to tell the truth in attempt to win $500,000.
——gonna过于口语化。
In addition, I think people shoudn’t always tell the truth to others.
——在托福作文中尽量不要用缩写,这里应该写should not。
11.两个独立句子间无连词
Another point is that young people are more aggressive and energetic, and it’s suitable for them to choose such jobs, which will provide them with rich experience that is essential for their future success.
这个错误犯的频率相当高,一定要注意。
12.时态错误
托福大作文一般使用现在时态,除了拿过去事件作为例子用过去时态。
Some people claimed that news media has enormous influence and is a detrimental creation.
—— claimed应该改为claim
13.不知所云
They also mention that in modern society there are too much entertainment bothering them as the huge gap lying between them and the success.
这句话完全不知道是什么意思,逻辑混乱,这是中国学生经常犯的错误。
托福写作 重点把握这三类词
第一类 表达具体动作的动词
假设你要参加一次英文面试,在介绍实习经历时,很多同学会说I involved in the project。面试官接下来很可能会追问你具体做了什么事,或者问你在项目中的角色。这就说明,involve这个单词,表达的含义太宽泛,让读者或听者产生了困惑,毕竟无论是助理还是老板,都可以说自己involve,而他们实际做的事情完全不同。
比面试更糟糕的情况是,你在托福写作中也仅仅写了involve,考官却没有机会追问你细节。因此他只能把你的作文判断"not provide enough specific support/development”或者“ideas are difficult to follow”,也就是fair的评分标准。正确的表达方式是,使用表意更确切的动词,例如在市场部门的工作经常包括:drafted proposals,edited brochures,coordinated campaigns(写计划书,编辑手册,协调活动)等等。
再说一个同学们常用,但其实表意有点模糊的单词:improve,比如improve work efficiency.这个表述就没能说出提高效率的具体表现,因为不同的工作有不同的标准,效率的表现也不同。可以试试这样的表述:optimize operations,speed up solutions,trump procrastination(优化操作,加快解决方案,战胜拖延)。
第二类 描绘细节的名词
细节名词,例如一些物品的名称,很多同学认为不常用,所以不会特别背诵。这种想法其实不符合托福写作对细节的偏好。
让我们来对比以下三个句子:
1. 蔬菜有益健康;
2. 蔬菜的营养有益健康;
3. 蔬菜中含有的维生素和矿物质能使人增强免疫力和预防肥胖。
托福考生应该都能看出,第三个句子是最好的,因为它细节最丰富,把蔬菜的好处说得最清楚,而第一个句子是最模糊的。但是在实际写作中,很多同学都止步于第二句,因为对维生素(Vitamins)、矿物质(Minerals)、免疫力(Immunity)和肥胖(Obesity)这几个单词都不够熟悉。
第三类 抽象名词
英语的词性变化很灵活。一些我们常用的名词,加上后缀会构成抽象名词,常用在书面语中,是表意简介准确。
例如consumer是消费者,consumerism是消费主义,在生活方式类题目和教育类题目中都可以使用;还有一些名词,同时拥有具体和抽象的表意,例如heritage既可以表达的遗产,也可以是抽象的"传统",与tradition含义相近。如果能有意识地使用抽象名词,即使不背诵新单词,也能写出含义更丰富的句子。
托福写作解析:eat healthy相关文章:
1.托福作文:20170826(上午)托福独立写作解析和范文