英语精选幽默小故事

焯杰分享 2016-02-17 14:24:38

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来英语精选幽默小故事，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语精选幽默小故事：优缺点

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　“这幢房子，”房地产推销商说，“既有优点也有缺点。为了说明我是诚实的，我将告诉你们它的缺点：往南面一个街区是一家化工厂，往北面一个街区是一家屠宰场。”

　　“那么它的长处呢?”预备购买房子的人问道。

　　“它的好处，”代理商说道，“就是，你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的。”

　　英语精选幽默小故事：伟大的猎手

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

　　有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

　　猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

　　半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

　　Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。

　　哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?

　　英语精选幽默小故事：让你儿子静下来

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫) baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"

　　站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”

　　男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。

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