妙趣幽默英语故事
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是学习啦小编为大家带来妙趣幽默英语故事，希望大家喜欢!
妙趣幽默英语故事：精明的家庭主妇
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was buming.
一位精明的家庭主妇听说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。
She was very excited,and said: “That’"be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed."
她听了大为兴奋，说：“太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
妙趣幽默英语故事：新员工
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后，被叫到人事经理的办公室。
"What is the meaning of this ? " the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years'experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
“这是什么意思?”经理问，“当你申请这份工作时，你告诉我们有五年工作经验，现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。”
"Well, " the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination. "
“嗯，”年轻人回答，“你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。
妙趣幽默英语故事：战争格言
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
友军火力一点儿都不友好。(美军术语Friendly fire是指“被自己人误伤”)
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
无坐力炮的后坐力大着呢。
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
压制火力哈也压制不了。
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
你不是超人，陆战队员和战斗机飞行员特别要紧记这一条。
5.A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
胸口被打个大洞，你就自然而然会停下来。【sucking是正在飙血的意思)
6.If it's stupid but it works,jt isn't stupid.
如果一个蠢方法有用，那它就不是一个蠢方法。
7. Try to look unimportant; theenemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
装成无关紧要的人，敌人可能子弹不多，不想浪费在你身上。
8. lf at first you don't succeed,call in an air strike,
如果你的攻击没成功，马上呼叫空袭支援吧。
9.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
每当你开始进攻时，炮兵也会越打越近。
10. Never shara a foxhole with anyons braver than yourself.。
水远别跟比你勇敢的战友呆在同一个散兵坑里。
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yoursalf.
永远别跟比你疯狂的人一起睡觉。
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
永远别忘了你手上的武器是由出价最低的承包商中标制造的。
13.If your attack is going really well,it's an ambuSh.
如果你的攻击进行得很顺利，那一定是你中了圈套。
14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
那支你以为是徉动的敌兵其实是主攻部队。
1 5. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:a.When they're ready.b.When you're not.
敌人总会在以下两种情况发生时展开攻击：1)他们准备好的时候：2)你没准备好的时候。
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
任何作战计划在接敌之后都会变成废纸。
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
完美的计划是不存在的。
18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
手榴弹的五秒引信总会在三秒内烧完。
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
散兵坑里不存在无神论者。
20.A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
逃跑的敌军大概只是打算先撤退后反击。
21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
重要的事情总是简单的;简单的事情总是难以做到的。
22. The easy way is always mined.
好走的路总已被布上地雷。
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
集体行动非常必要：起码敌人有其他目标可以射击了。
24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
下要太显眼，因为那会吸引敌方火力。因此，航空母舰被称作“炸弹磁铁”就不奇怪了。
25. Never draw fire: it irritates everyone around you.
不要吸引敌人火力：这会使你身边所有的人都恨你。
26.1f you are shortOf evervthing but the enemy,you are in the combat Zone.
如果你除了敌人什么都缺，那你一定在交战区了。
27.When you have Secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
你攻占一个地区后，确保敌人也知道。
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
飞来的子弹有优先通行权。(不要把身体挡在子弹的去路上)
29, No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
从来没有一支完成战备的单位能通过检阅。
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
从来没有一支准备好检阅的部队能活过战斗。
31. lf the enemy is within range,so are you.
如果敌人进入你的射程内，别忘了你也在进入了他的射程内。
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
唯一比敌军炮火还准确是友军火力。
33. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
必须要装配在一起才能发挥效力的武器装备不能一起运送。
34. Things that must work together,can't be carried to the field that way.
必须要装配在一起才能发挥效力的武器不能被一起运到战场。
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
无线电总是在你急需火力支援时失灵。
36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
雷达总是在晚上和坏天气时失灵，尤其是在两者都发生的时候。
37. Anything you do can get you killed,including nothing.
你所做的任何事都可能送命，就算你什么都不做也一样。
38. Make it too tough for theenemy to get in,and you won't be able to get out.
当你防守严密到敌人攻不进来时，那往往你自己也打出不去.
39.Tracers work both ways.
曳光弹是双刃剑。(你更容易打中敌人，敌人也更容易找到你的位置)
40. lf you take more than your fair share of objectives,you wiu get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
如果你在行动中完成了额外的任务，那么你总会被赋予这些额外的任务。
41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
当两军都觉得自己快输时，那他们可能都是对的。
42. Professional soldiers are predlctable;the world is full of dangerous amatours.
专业士兵的行为是可预测的：但世上却充满了莱鸟。
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
“军事情报”一词中的军事和情报是矛盾的o(intelligence一词多义，同时也指_智慧n，这个双关语是讽刺战场上往往缺乏有头脑的行为)
44. FortifY your front;youԬget your rear shot up.
脑袋和屁股从来不可兼顾。
45. Weather ain't neutral.
天气不是中立的。(气像状况总是对你不利)
46.1f you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
如果你记不起来自己亲手布置的定向雷的指向，那这定向冒一定是朝向你的。
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down;sort 'em out on the ground.
防空座右铭：先把飞机打下来，再在地上区分敌友。
48. Flies high,it dies;low and slow,it‘ll go.
飞得高，死得快：飞得又低又慢，就能完成目标。
49. The Cavalry doesn*t always come tO the rescue.
不能把希望寄托在救兵身上。(言下之意是要靠自己，不要老想着会有人来救你。Cavalry在美军俚语里就是-救兵一的意思，请想像一下当你处身美国西部开拓时期在野外被一大群印弟安人包围的情景)
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
凝固汽油弹一炸一大片。(别扔得太近)
