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简短的英文笑话

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  笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。下面是学习啦小编带来的简短的英文笑话,欢迎欣赏!

  简短的英文笑话篇1

  John had waited for months to get a divorce and now he was free from his domineering wife.

  "Free at last!" he screamed, throwing his divorce papers into the air. "Now, I can eat when I want to, watch television when I want to."

  Two months later John was found being escorted to jail by a police officer.

  A shocked friend, on seeing poor John hand-cuffed, asked, "John, why are you under arrest? I thought your troubles were over when you divorced your wife."

  "I couldn't pay my alimony," related John sadly.

  "Why couldn't you pay your alimony?"

  "My ex-wife has custody of the money and my business."

  约翰等了好几个月才离婚,现在他终于摆脱了他专横的妻子。

  “终于自由了。”他尖叫着,把离婚协议书抛到空中,“现在,我想吃就吃,想看电视就看电视。”

  两个月后,有人发现约翰被警官带进了监狱。

  一个朋友看见可怜的约翰戴着手铐,感到很震惊,问道:“约翰,你为什么被捕了?我以为你和你妻子离婚了就没什么麻烦了。”

  “我付不起我的赡养费。”约翰伤心地回答。

  “你为什么付不起你的赡养费呢?”

  “我前妻掌握了我的财产和生意啊。”

  简短的英文笑话篇2

  Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, was not very handsome, and he knew.

  One day, Lincoln was walking in the street when he was stopped by an ugly man. The man had apistol in his hand. He aimed at Lincoln's nose. Lincoln was very surprised, but he pretended to be calm. He asked the man, "What do you want, sir?"

  "I have promised myself," said the man, "If I find a man who is uglier than I, I'll kill him."

  Lincoln looked at the man's face carefully and said eagerly. "Please take aim at me, sir. If I was uglier than you, I would not want to live."

  美国总统亚伯拉罕·林肯长得不算英俊,这他自己也知道。

  一天,林肯正在街上散步,这时他突然被一个丑人拦住了。那个人手中拿着枪,瞄准林肯的鼻子。林肯非常惊讶,但是他假装镇静自若。他问那个人:“先生,你想干什么?”

  “我答应过自己,”那个人说,“如果我找到一个比我更丑的人,我就毙了他。”

  林肯仔细端详那个人的脸,急切地说,“请瞄准我吧,如果我比你更丑,我也不想活了。”

  简短的英文笑话篇3

  Dear Susan:

  Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.

  Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never meet another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so much.

  Yours always and truly.

  P.s: Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

  亲爱的苏姗:

  我的小甜心。自从我解除与你的婚约后,我一直倍感孤独凄凉,简直心力交瘁。

  请你考虑回到我的身边好吗?你在我心目中的地位是任何女人都无法代替的。我再也不会遇到像你这样的女人了。我是多么需要你呀。你能原谅我,让我们重新开始吗?我是多么爱你啊。

  始终属于你,忠实于你的。

  附注:恭喜你中了州彩票。

  
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