英文简短笑话
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。 下面是学习啦小编带来的英文简短笑话，欢迎欣赏!
英文简短笑话篇1
The patient was recovering after an operation. His friend came to visit him and asked how he was getting along.
"Well," the patient began, "after my first operation they had to cut me open again. The doctor had to take out the sponge left in me." "But you got over it all right?"
"Oh, yes. Only I had another operation yesterday. They found that they had operated on the wrong part."
"Thank God. You're all right now, though," the friend said encouragingly.
At that time the doctor came in saying, "Has anyone seen my hat around here? I left it somewhere yesterday."
一位病人做完一个手术回到病房，他的朋友来看望他并问他感觉怎么样。
“哎，”这位病人说，“第一次手术后他们又给我开了一刀，因为医生要取出忘在我体内的纱布.”“但是你挺过来了?”
“噢，是的，只是他们昨天又给我开了一刀，因为他们发现开刀开错了地方。”
“感谢上帝，你现在总算没事了 。”朋友安慰他说。
正在这时医生进来说：“谁在这儿看见我的帽子了?我昨天把它忘在什么地方了。”
英文简短笑话篇2
Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.
Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.
"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."
"Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"
Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."
"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.
"Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"
She laughed nastily. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."
威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上，现在她有了一位新邻居。
这邻居叫布里格斯太太，她对她的高档家具，漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论很多。
“你知道吗?” 有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道：“我有一台新洗碗机。它洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”
“哦?”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗?还可以把它们放进碗柜吗?”
布里格斯太太很吃惊。“ 嗯，”她回答说，“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和刀叉一小时后就干了，但当然啰，洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”
威廉姆斯太太说：“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”
“哦?”布里格斯太太回答说，“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后能把它们放进碗柜吗?”她不怀好意地大笑起来。
“是的，他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把它们收起来。”
英文简短笑话篇3
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up："You've been on for five miles -- that'll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase."
The Scotsman responds："I haven't, I want to have a penny fare, just got on this very moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "My God!Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket—but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny."
一个苏格兰人提着一只大箱子，坐上了一辆开往伦敦的汽车。上车后，在汽车行驶了5英里的这段路上，他一直在试图躲开售票员。
售票员最终还是找到了他，并叫他补票:“你已经坐了5英里了，请付50便士，你的箱子还要付10便士。”
苏格兰人答道：“我是不会付那么多钱的。我只付1便士，因为我刚刚上车。”最后，他们争吵起来。售票员越吵越生气，终于在车子行驶到伦敦大桥上时，抓起苏格兰人的箱子，用力扔出了车外。
箱子掉进河里，沉了下去。苏格兰人惊呆了，怔怔地站在那里，片刻之后对售票员说：“我的上帝啊!你不仅向我多收票钱，现在还淹死了我的儿子强尼。”
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