经典英语笑话爆笑欣赏
笑话是日常生活中常见的一种幽默。与一般日常会话不同,笑话刻意违反合作原则,由此衍生出会话含意,并利用会话含意之间的冲突实现其预定功能。小编精心收集了经典爆笑英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!
经典爆笑英语笑话篇1
Mother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?" "Nothing, Mum,"answered the son proundly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told herthree."
母亲问她年幼的儿子:“宝贝,今天老师教了你些什么?” 儿子骄傲地说:“什么都没教,妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几,我告诉她等于三。”
经典爆笑英语笑话篇2
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it." Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache. "That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。“来,坐下,吃点点心,”妈妈说,“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。” 一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,说是头痛。 “你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的,”他那聪明的儿子说,“里面装点东西,就会好的。”
经典爆笑英语笑话篇3
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all ofthe arithmetic problems in his book easily. One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruitstore. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Billand he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store. "Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of howmany apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem inarithmetic?" asked the man. "Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worthfour cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples areworth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worthnothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you." Bill picked out a good apple, began to eatit, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprisethat he could not say a word.
比尔是一个好学生,也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学,课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。 有一天,在上学路上,比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着:“苹果--五美分六个。”比尔脑筋一转,进了店门。 “苹果怎么卖?” “五美分六个。” “但我不想要六个。” “你想要几个?” “这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。” “数学问题?你说这话是什么意思?” “你看,如果六个苹果五美分,那么五个苹果四美分,四个苹果三美分,三个苹果二美分,二个苹果一美分,一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果,如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话,那我也就没必要给你钱了。” 比尔拣了一个好苹果,开始吃了起来,然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩,一句话也说不出来。
经典爆笑英语笑话篇4
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already verygood at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of moneyfor them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're goingto sell these pictures for a lot more money." Jimmy's pictures were different from other people'sbecause he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half wasalways empty. "That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!" One day somebodybought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do youpaint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?" "Because I'm small," Jimmysaid, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
吉米三岁开始画画,五岁时已经画得很好了。他画了很多美丽而有趣的画,人们出高价购买。他们说,“这个孩子长大一点肯定会出名,我们可以靠这些画大赚一笔。” 吉米的画与众不同。因为他从来不在整张纸上作画。他只画一半的纸,而另一半他总空着。 “构思多么巧妙啊!”大家都说,“从来没有人这么做过。” 有一天,一个人买了吉米的画,然后问他:“请告诉我,吉米,你为什么总是在纸的下半部分画画,而不是在纸的上半部分?” 吉米说,“因为我个头小,够不着上面。”
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