英语爆笑笑话短篇的文章阅读(2)
英语爆笑笑话篇六
酒后驾车
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdybar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜，一名警察去一个经常有人闹事的酒吧门口巡逻，为了避免有酒后驾车的情况发生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of thebar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了，他看见一个家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出来，一下摔在路边，随后又用钥匙试着开了五辆车的门才找到他自己的车。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐进车里，好几分钟他又都是在摸着那些钥匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
这时人们都从酒吧出来并且开车走了。最后他也发动了车子准备开走，
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, readhim his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已经等这个机会很久了，他打开灯，把司机从车里拉出来，给他宣读了他所享有的法定权利，然后作了酒精的测试。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
测试的结果是零，
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察问他是为什么，
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司机说：“今晚他们派我当诱饵。”
英语爆笑笑话篇七
离事故有多远?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accidenthe had witnessed.
一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。
The judge asked him how far away he was from theaccident.
法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”
英语爆笑笑话篇八
Do you pay taxes?
你纳税了吗?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing withthe IRS Tax auditorwho had come to review hisrecords.
一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”
英语爆笑笑话篇九
Car accident
交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stopsign ...hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revivedhim.
路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody wasstanding in front of the 'S.'
当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个s。”
猜你喜欢：
