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关于两人英语笑话篇一
One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…
一天深夜,一个男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子问他去哪了(她有些怀疑他的话)。
Wife: "Where were you?"
妻子:“你去哪了?”
Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”
丈夫:“我去了一个叫金色酒吧的新开张的酒吧。里面的一切都是金的。”
Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”
妻子:“你真去了吗? 根本没有这种地方!”
Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”
丈夫:“有!那里有一扇大金门,金地板和金的便池!”
Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”
妻子:‘好,就算我恻言你!”
So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…
第二天,他的妻子在电话号码簿里查金色酒吧的电话。使她吃惊的是金色酒吧就在他们住的小镇的另一头。她决定打电话过去证实一下她丈夫的话。
Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"
妻子:“这里是金色酒吧吗?”
Bartender: "Yes it is.”
酒吧服务员:“是的,金色酒吧。”
Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "
妻子:“你们那里是不是有一扇金色大门?”
Bartender: "Yes we do…”
酒吧服务员:“是的,我们有......”
Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"
妻子:“你们的地板也是金色的?”
Bartender; "We have them, too…”
酒吧服务员:“是的,这也对……”
Wife: "What about golden urinals?"
妻子:“那有没有金色便池?”
Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max,I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”
酒吧服务员在电话那头问:“嘿,马克斯,我认为那天有人往你的高音萨克斯里小便的事有线索了。”
关于两人英语笑话篇二
A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away.
一个已经几个月没有工作的金发女郎,找到了一份公共工程建设的工作。她要给一条乡村公路的中央画线。监工告诉她,在试用期她必须保证每天刷两英里或两英里以上才能保住工作。这个金发女郎同意马上开始工作。
The supervisor checked up at the end of the day and found that she had completed four miles on her first day, double the average! "Great ,”he told her, "I think you are really going to work out.”The next day,however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only did two miles. The supervisor thought,"She is still above the average. I should not discourage her. I'd better keep silence first.” In the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse.”
监工当天检查时发现她第一天完成了四英里,是平均量的两倍!“很好!”监工告诉她,“我想你会干得很出色。”但是第二天,他失望地发现女郎只完成了两英里。监工想:“她还在平均量以上,我还不能打击她,我先要保持沉默。”第三天,金发女郎只刷了一英里,老板想:“在她干得更差之前我得跟她谈谈。”
The boss talked to the new employee and said, "You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Is there a problem? What’s keeping you from meeting the two-mile minimum?" The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the paint bucket.”
老板对这个新雇员说:“第一天你干得那么好,刷了四英里,第二天两英里,但昨天你只刷了一英里。有什么问题吗?什么让你连两英里的限度也到不了?”女郎回答:“因为我离油漆桶一天比一天远。”
关于两人英语笑话篇三
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police."For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today,I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left it on my desk in my bedroom."
一个法官正告知陪审团,不必因为一个证人改变了他已经交给警察的证词就认为他不可信。“比方说,”他说,“当今天我走进我的办公室的时候,我以为我的金表
在我的口袋里。但随后我想起来我把它放在我卧室的书桌上了。”
When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him,"Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn’t sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"
当法官那天晚上回到家时,他妻子问他:“为什么那么着急要你的表?还派三个人取你的表,是不是有一点过分了?”
"What?” said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"
“什么?”法官说,“我没派人来取表,更不用说三个人。你都干了什么?”
"I gave it to the first man,” said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
“我把手表给了第一个人,”妻子说,“因为他很清楚那表放在什么地方。”
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