关于英语冷笑话短文阅读
笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。本文是关于英语冷笑话短文，希望对大家有帮助!
关于英语冷笑话短文：聪明的鸟
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.
“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”
关于英语冷笑话短文：磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
收师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时睡觉。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人打瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好地教育他不要睡觉。
In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "
他低声地对教徒们说:“想去天堂的人都站起来。”除打瞌睡的人外，每个人都站了起来。牧师说过请坐之后，高声喊道:“下地狱的请站起来!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声所惊醒，站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气地望着他。他说:“先生，我不知我们在选什么，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯选人。”
关于英语冷笑话短文：只剩一个引擎
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention，passengers. We have lost one of our engines，but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately， we will arrive an hour late as a result. "
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意，我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter，the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what，folks. We just lost our third engine，but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "
过了一会儿，旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位，你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了，有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point，one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted，"If we lose another engine，we'll be up here all night !"
正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止，如果我们再掉一个引拿，我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
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