简短的英语笑话大全

韦彦分享 2016-12-13 09:14:43

　　英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。本文是简短的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

　　简短的英语笑话：A Small Boy and a Donkey

　　小男孩与驴子

　　A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad(少年，小伙子) . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.

　　So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

　　一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?

　　这样，他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

　　简短的英语笑话：Johnny The Gambler

　　Little Johnny's dad was a retired gambler. Having picked up a few of his old man's bad habits, Johnny wagered on anything and everything, and he was good at it. Eventually, it became such a problem, that Johnny's teacher called his father to discuss it. After a long conversation, they decided to teach him a lesson.

　　One day after class Johnny approached his teacher. "You're not really blonde," he said. "I've seen your bush and it's pitch black, you dye your hair."

　　"I most certainly do not," she replied.

　　"I bet you ten bucks you do," he said.

　　She saw that this was an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so she waited for all the other children to leave the class and took off her pants, showing him that her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head. Johnny paid her the ten dollars and walked sullenly out of the room.

　　A few hours later Johnny's teacher called his father. "I think I finally taught him a lesson," she said.

　　"The hell you have," his father said angrily. "This morning he bet me he'd see your vagina before the end of the day."

　　简短的英语笑话：Airplane Conversation

　　A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

　　Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

　　"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

　　"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.

　　But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

　　"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

　　"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

　　简短的英语笑话：No Temper Tantrums On This Plane

　　As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

　　Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

　　Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

　　As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

　　"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

　　The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."