简短爆笑的英语笑话大全
笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。学习啦小编分享简短爆笑的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
简短爆笑的英语笑话：Keys to Success 成功的关键
One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'
"What is cleverness? asked his son.
"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.
一天，父亲教育儿子说：“一个人成功的关键就是严守诺言和足够聪明。一旦你给了别人承诺，无论发生什么事，你都得实现它，这个就叫‘守诺言’。”
儿子问：“那么什么是聪明呢?”
父亲回答：“聪明就是任何时候都别做这样的承诺。”
简短爆笑的英语笑话：你是怎么引起洪水的?
How did you start the flood? 你是怎么引起洪水的?
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?" "That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
医生在里维埃拉度假时遇到他的一位律师朋友，医生问他怎么会到这里来。律师回答：“我到这里是因为我的房子被火烧了，保险公司赔偿了我所有的损失。” “真巧，”医生说，“我是因为房子被洪水冲垮了，保险公司也赔偿了我所有的损失。”律师看起来有些困惑，他问“哎呀!你是怎么引起洪水的?”
简短爆笑的英语笑话：The Mean Man's Party 吝啬鬼餐会
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”
简短爆笑的英语笑话：Who is that woman? 那女人是谁?
The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel. The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, "Why, hello, Teddy, how are you?" When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was that woman?!" "Take it easy, honey," said the groom, "I'm going to have trouble enough explaining you to her."
一对新婚夫妇走进位于迈阿密海滩旅馆的电梯。电梯操作员是一个漂亮的金发碧眼的美女，看到他们十分惊奇，她说：“嗨，Teddy,你好吗?”夫妇俩到了他们自己的房间，愤怒的新娘要求丈夫做出解释：“那女人是谁?!”“冷静点，宝贝，”新郎说： “我得对她解释你是谁，这已经足够烦死我了。”
简短爆笑的英语笑话：Headstone "Strange"的墓石
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后，石匠问他，要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。律师回答：“这里长眠着一个诚实的人，一个律师。”“对不起，我办不到，”石匠说，“要是这样的话，违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。不过，我会刻上：‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。” 律师抗议：“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”“当然知道啦，”石匠反驳道，“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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