各种英语版冷笑话大全
笑话偶尔也给人以启示,并上升到哲理层面,引发人们深层次的思考。下面是学习啦小编带来的各种英语版冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
各种英语版冷笑话篇一
Keep Your Head
头脑要保持冷静!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.
有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”
"Well, I insist; 1 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要问问经理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager,
那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而这位先生要买另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年轻人，你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人，如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager's spot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个襄理的职位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey',event)">hockey playersi"
“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来，“那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir; what posltion does she play?"
“真的吗?经理，那她是打哪一个位置呢?”
各种英语版冷笑话篇二
Home Sweet Home
还是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?，’同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，实在太令人失望了，”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到，实际上，还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
各种英语版冷笑话篇三
You Do Have a Prololem
你真是有问题了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom',event)">bathroom.
一位老兄对医生说明他上厕所有困难。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便吗?，’医生问他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六点钟。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情况如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像时钟一样，我每天准时七点钟上大号。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那问题到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八点钟才起床。”
各种英语版冷笑话篇四
The Blgger They Are the Harder They Fa
爬得越跌得越重
The psychiatrist was a bit perturbed. He had cured his patient of his delusions but still the man did not seem happy.
一位心理医师感到有些厌烦。他已治好一名病人的幻想症，但那名患者似乎仍然不快乐。
"What's the matter, Mr. Jones?" he inquired. "Aren't you glad to be dealing with the world realistically?"
“到底是怎么一回事，琼斯先生?”他询问道。“难道你不喜欢踏实地面对周围的一切吗?
"Oh, sure. Doc, sure .... Only, last year I was Genghis Khan and now I' m nobody ! "
“喔，是的，医生，我是很愿意。只是去年我还是成吉思汗，现在我成了无名之辈!”
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