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爆笑英语笑话大全

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  近年来,冷笑话在电视媒体以及网络上广为流传,带来了一场崭新的语言风暴。下面是学习啦小编带来的爆笑英语笑话大全 ,欢迎阅读!

  爆笑英语笑话篇一

  Bad Day at Work糟糕的上班日

  A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.

  有一名男子加入一家大型跨国。公司接受训练。

  On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,

  在他上班的第一天,他拨电话到餐饮室,并且,对着电话大声喊!

  "Get me a coffee quickly!"

  “ 快点给我送杯咖啡过来!”

  The voice from the other side responded,

  电话另外-端的声音却响应说:

  "You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"

  “你这个笨蛋,你拨错分机了!蠢蛋,你知道你在跟谁说话吗?”这名受训的人回答说,

  "No,"replied the trainee.

  “不知道。”“你这个笨蛋,我是公司的总经理。”

  The man shouted back immediately,

  这名男子立刻大声吼回去:

  "And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"

  “你这个笨蛋,你知道你在跟谁说话吗?…总经理回答:

  "No,replied the General Manager.

  “不知道。”这名受训 的人周答说:

  "Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!

  “很好!”,然后就把电话给挂了。

  爆笑英语笑话篇二

  Liar,Liar 骗子,骗子

  A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

  老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

  The policeman asked her for a description.

  警察要求,她形容一下。

  She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athletic build,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

  她说:“他三十五岁,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮,体重185磅,说话很轻乘,而且对小孩子很好。”

  The next-door neighbor protested,

  隔壁邻居期提出反驳说:

  "Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

  “你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟 的,秃头,有一个太嘴巴,而且对你的小孩稂刻薄。”

  The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

  老婆回答说:“你说对了,可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

  爆笑英语笑话篇三

  A Henpecked Husband怕老婆的老公

  A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

  有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

  "You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

  他说:“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

  The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

  这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家,用力啪答一声关上门,在他老婆的面前:挥舞着拳头,并且大声咆哮说:

  From now on you are talking orders from me.

  “从现在起,你得乖乖听我的命令。

  I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

  我现在就要吃晚餐,当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候,到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

  Tonight I am going out with my friends.

  今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出,

  You are going to stay at home where you belong.

  你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

  Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

  另外还有一件事情,你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

  I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

  老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”

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