英语经典笑话
作为网络社会中的新叙事文本,IT笑话是在信息技术引入中国、技术群体逐渐崛起、专业知识术语开始出现以后产生的一种新民间叙事体裁。下面小编整理了英语经典笑话,希望大家喜欢!
英语经典笑话:Heart Transplant心脏移植
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.
有一名男子患有心赃病,被送往医院急诊室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.
医生告诉他,除非他立刻接受心脏移植,否则他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,
另外一名,医生跑进急诊室说:
"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you want.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."
“你真幸运,刚好有两个心脏可移植,所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。一个是属于律师,另一个是属于社会工作者。”
The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."
这名男子很快响应说:“律师的。”
The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
医生说:“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”
The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"
这名男子说:“我已经知道够了。大家都知道社会工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心脏,而律师的心脏可能从来都不曾用过他的。所以我选择律师的心脏。"
英语经典笑话:Social Worker 社会工作者
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.
有两名社会工作者在晚上的时候 走过市区的简陋地方。
They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,
他们听到从后巷传来的求救呻吟声和很小的哭喊声。
they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.
他们发现有一个意识不清的人躺在血泊之中。
"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten " he pleaded.
他在恳求说:“救救我吧,我被人行凶抢劫,还遭到恶意痛打一顿。”
The two social workers turned and walked away .
这两名社会工作者转身离去。
One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."
其中一位向她的同事说:“你知道吧,于下这挡事的火才真 的需要协助呀。”
英语经典笑话:Broken Finger断指
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain .
有名年轻女子去看医生,怨忿地说着她的病痛。
"Where are you hurting?"asked the doctor.
医生问她:“你哪里痛?”
"You have to help me,I hurt all over",said the woman,
女子说:“你一定要帮帮我,我全身痛。”
"What do you mean ,all over ?"asked the doctor,"be a little more specific."
医生问说:“什么意思呀,全身?讲更明确一点吧”
The woman toughed her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
这名女子用她的指碰触右膝,痛得直叫;
"Ow,that hurts."Then she toughed her left cheek and again yelled,
“哎唷,那里好痛呀。”然后她碰触左脸颊,又痛得直叫:
"Ouch!That hurts ,too.”Then she toughed her right earlobe ,
“哎呀,那里也好痛呀。”然后她碰触右耳垂,她哭喊说:
"Ow,even THAT hurts ,she cried.
“哎呀,连那里也好痛呀。”
The doctor checked her thoughtfull for a moment and told her his diagnosis,"You have a broken finger."
医生体贴地替她检查了一会儿,然后把诊断结果告诉她:“你的手指断了啦。”