英语笑话小短文加翻译欣赏

　　偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。下面小编整理了英语笑话小短文加翻译，希望大家喜欢!

　　英语笑话小短文加翻译摘抄

　　There was this guy who went into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said,“Bartender, are you a betting man?” The bartender replied, "Certainly! I'm ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'11 bet you that I can lick my right eye.” The bartender thought about this a while and finally agreed to the bet. The man reached up and pulled out his glass right eye and licked it. The bartender groaned and begrudgingly gave the man his telling him to leave his bar.

　　一个男子进了酒吧间，他走到酒吧男招待面前说道“嘿，男招待，你是个爱打赌的人吗?”男招待回答“没错，我永远都是个赌徒!”那个人又说:“我和你赌50美元，我可以舔到自己的右眼。”男招待想了想最后同意打这个赌。那个男子摘下了他那只玻璃做的右眼，然后舔了一下。男招待哀叹一声，极不情愿地付给那人50美元，然后让他离开了酒吧间。

　　A week or so later, the same man appeared in the bar. He went up to the bar- tender and said, "Bartender, are you still a betting man?" The bartender replied, "Certainly! I told you I' m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'll bet you 0 that I can bite my left eye.” Well, the bartender thought he had him on this one! There was no way that he had TWO glass eyes so the bartender agreed. The man reached up to his mouth, pulled out his dentures and clicked them on his left eye. The bartender moaned and paid the man his 0 telling him to get out of his bar.

　　大约一周后，那个男人再次来到酒吧间，又问那个男招待:“伙计，你是个爱打赌的人吗?”男招待回答:“是的，我告诉过你的，我永远是个赌徒!”男人接着说:“这次我出100美元，赌我能咬到自己的左眼。”男招待想了想。他认为那个人的两只眼睛不可能都是玻璃的，于是他同意和那个人打这个赌。只见那人把手放进嘴里，然后掏出一幅假牙，用假牙碰了一下自己的左眼。男招待一边抱怨着一边掏出100美元交给了那个人，并把他轰出了酒吧。

　　A week or so later, the same man ventured into the bar again. He went up to the bartender and said，"Bartender, are you still a betting man? "The bartender said, although with a little caution this time, "Certainly! I told you I’m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "Give me a shot of whiskey.” The bartender poured the man a shot and he drank it down. Slamming the glass on the bar he said, "I’11 bet you 0 that you can spin me around on this bar stool and I can piss in that glass right where it lays and not miss a drop.”Well，the bartender' s eyes lit up. Here was one time that he was certain that he would win!" Agreed! ” he cried. Coming out from around the bar, he grabbed onto the man's bar stool and spun it as hard as he could.

　　一个多星期后，那个人第三次来到酒吧间，他走到男招待跟前说:“男招待，你还是不是个赌徒了?”这一次男招待显得有些犹豫，但他还是答道:“千真万确!我告诉过你，我永远是个赌徒。”那个男人说:“给我一杯威士忌。”男招待给他倒了一杯，那人一饮而尽。然后砰地一声把酒杯放到桌上，说道:“我坐在这个凳子上，你用力推椅子让我旋转起来，然后我往酒杯里撒尿，并保证决不会溅到外面。如果我输了，我给你500美元。”“行!”，男招待顿时眼睛一亮，他认为这次自己赢定了。于是喊道“同意!”。他从吧台后面走出来，用手抓住那个人坐的椅子，然后使出浑身的力量使劲一推。

　　Well，the man just let loose and piss flew everyplace! Not so much as one drop even came close to the glass and the bartender was soaked. When he was done，the bartender was laughing and laughing and holding out his hand. The man pulled out his wallet and gave him his 0. But the bar- tender was puzzled and as he was wiping off his face, he asked the man, "Why did you bet me 0 that you could piss in that shot glass on the bar when you had to have known there wasn’t any possible way to do it?”

　　那个人把尿溅的哪都是。因为男招待离的太近，所以全身都被浇湿了。等那人的椅子停下之后，男招待仰天大笑，一边笑一边伸出手。那个人拿出钱包从里面掏出500美元交给了男招待。然而男招待却感到迷惑不解，他一边用手绢擦着脸一边问:“明明知道那是不可能的事情你为什么还要赌500美元呢?”

　　The man just smiled and told him, "You may have won 0 off me but I bet that

　　guy over in the corner , 000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would just laugh”

　　那个人笑了笑说:“你是燕了500美元，但是我和那边那个人打了10000美元的赌，我说当我尿你一身的时候你不但不会生气，反而还会冲着我大笑。”

　　英语笑话小短文加翻译鉴赏

　　The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad to see you; we've got your place all ready.” Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.

　　教皇死后升人了天堂。圣彼得向他问候:“见到你很高兴，我们一切都已经为您安排好了。然后圣彼得把教皇带到街上领他去看新房子。一栋有五间房子的小巧舒适的别墅。圣彼得建议教皇住下来，然后再去四处看看其他的居民。

　　The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45一room mansion, with built一in sauna and weight room, a beautiful library, and spacious，airy rooms.

　　教皇在这里不仅遇到了许多老朋友，而且还结交了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律师请教皇吃饭，等到了他家，教皇一下子惊呆了，那是一栋有45间房的大厦，里面还有桑拿间、健身房、漂亮的图书馆、宽敞明亮的房间。

　　After lunch，the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cot while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion.

　　午饭后，教皇在街上又遇到了圣彼得，于是问道:“我可不是抱怨啊!为什么只给我一个小别墅而那个律师却有那么豪华的大厦?”

　　St. Peter replied，Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”

　　圣彼得回答说:“你看，我们这里有很多位教皇，而律师却只有他一人。”

　　英语笑话小短文加翻译赏析

　　Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:

　　有一天晚上，我针对一个自己讨厌的人所做的事情简直是妙极了:

　　I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.

　　我看到他正和一个情人坐在饭馆里的一个不被人注意的角落里。我走到领班跟前对他说:为了庆祝我的朋友和妻子结婚十周年，我想让他给那两个人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。

　　If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.

　　在像柏里甘思这样的地方，当男女服务员给你的桌子上送蛋糕时他们介一边唱歌一边敲打着水壶。你可以想象接下来会发生什么。

　　Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.

　　四个男服务员和三个女服务员手里端着插有蜡烛的蛋糕，一边走一边唱“凯茹乐，马克，祝你们周年快乐。”

　　Talk about someone looking for the exits!

　　现在正有人忙着找出去的门呢!