英文笑话大全爆笑欣赏

　　万荣笑话是一种独特的民间幽默,用诙谐的语言褒贬生活。下面是学习啦小编带来的爆笑英文笑话大全，欢迎阅读!

　　爆笑英文笑话大全

　　(一)

　　主席 (中英)

　　A parrot fancier that happened into a London pet shop noticed a particularly colorful bird and asked its price.

　　一位鹦鹉爱好者碰巧在伦敦宠物店看到一只颜色鲜艳的鹦鹉，于是就开口问它的价钱。

　　"Five thousand pounds,” the shop owner replied.

　　“五千英镑”，店主回答说。

　　"Five thousand pounds?" the man asked. "Why so much?"

　　“五千英镑?”那个男人问，“为什么这么贵?”

　　"Well，this bird speaks fluent Italian，Spanish and French, is brushing up on his German and starting to study English,” came the reply. "With the European Community's unification，he' 11 be a great asset."

　　“因为这只鸟能流利的说意大利语、西班牙语和法语，德语也学得差不多了，并且马上就开始学习英语，”店主回答说，“等到欧盟统一，它将是一笔不小的财富。”

　　I don’t care about the Common Market ,”the parrot fancier said. "What about that gray one in that other cage?"

　　“我可不在乎什么共同市场”，那个鹦鹉爱好者说，“那个笼子里的灰色的鹦鹉多少钱?”

　　The gray one was 15，000 pounds，he was told，because the bird spoke Arabic，Chinese, and Korean and was learning Japanese-“the languages of the 21st century.”

　　店主告诉他那个灰色的要一万五千英镑。因为那只鸟会说阿拉伯语、汉语和韩语，而且正在学习日语。这些都是二十一世纪的语言。

　　“I’ m too old to worry about the 21stcentuy,” the frustrated parrot lover replied.

　　“我可活不到那会儿，管不了二十一世纪的事”，那个失望的鹦鹉爱好者回答说。

　　"What about that mangy brown one up on that perch in the corner?"

　　“高处站在角落里的那只棕色的鹦鹉多少钱?”

　　"The brown one，”said the shopkeeper, "was 25 , 000 pounds.”

　　“棕色的?”店主说，“两万五千英镑。”

　　"Twenty-five thousand pounds!” ex-claimed the customer. "What does he do to worth that?"

　　“两万五千英镑?”他高呼道，“它怎么值那么多钱?”

　　"We’re not sure,”the pet-shop owner replied. "But the other two call him chairman.

　　“我们也不知道，”宠物店老板回答，“只是因为刚才的那两只都管它叫主席。”

　　爆笑英文笑话大全欣赏

　　陪审团主席 (中英)

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　一位小城市的法官正在处理一个酒后驾车的案件。被告曾经有过酒后驾车的记录，现在需要一个陪审团做出裁决。那时已经是下午四点，找个陪审团来会浪费很多时间。所以，法官就宣布休庭，然后就去随便找些人来充当陪审团。他正好发现在大厅里有十二个律师，就把他们叫来组成了陪审团。

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

　　这些律师们认为能做陪审团将会是个新奇的经历，所以就同意和那个法官回到了法庭。审讯十分钟就结束了，因为很明显被告是有罪的。接着，陪审团进行商议，法官做好了回家的准备，每个人都在等待着最后的结果。

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

　　差不多三个小时以后，法官已经等不及了，他派法警去看看陪审团是否做出了最后的判决。当法警回来的时候，法官问他:“怎么样?他们做出了最后的判决没有?”

　　The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

　　法警摇摇头说:“判决?天哪，他们还在进行推选陪审团主席的演讲呢!”

　　经典的爆笑英文笑话大全

　　两个猎人 (中英)

　　Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters，the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn' t be able to take off with more weight than that.” The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.

　　两个猎人租了一架小型飞机带他们去加拿大的一个偏僻地区。当两个猎人到达目的地下飞机时，飞行员告诉他们说:“记住，飞机只能带一只驼鹿，否则飞机会因为过重而无法起飞。”两个猎

　　人就这样打猎去了。

　　The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, and you' 11 have to leave one because we won’t be able to take off with that much weight.” "Oh, come on,” beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you’re just a chicken.”

　　过了一个星期，当飞机返回原地接他们的时候看到他们身边有两只驼鹿。飞行员愤怒地说:“我告诉过你们，只能带一只驼鹿。你们必须丢下一只否则飞机过重无法起飞。”“哦，别这样”，两个猎人哀求道，“去年那个飞行员让我们带了两只驼鹿呢，你胆子也太小了。”

　　Not wanting to be accused of being a coward，the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh，I’d say about a hundred yards farther than last year.

　　飞行员怕别人说他是胆小鬼，于是就同意带上两只驼鹿一起走。当飞机穿过一个湖后开始迫降。飞行员用尽办法也无济于事，飞机坠落在湖边的一片树林里。过了不久，一个猎人起身看着

　　飞机的残骸说:“我们这是在哪?’’另一个猎人回答:“哦，我觉得比去年还远了一百码呢。”