适合小学启蒙阶段的英语小笑话谜语

　　与一般日常会话不同,笑话刻意违反合作原则,由此衍生出会话含意,并利用会话含意之间的冲突实现其预定功能。下面是学习啦小编带来的适合小学启蒙阶段的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

　　适合小学启蒙阶段的英语小笑话精选

　　(一)

　　给我捎杯牛奶

　　At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."

　　半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。” 科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。”

　　(二)

　　跟妈妈一模一样的女朋友

　　No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. Afriend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."　　Sothe young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendlyadviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked likemother, And just as you said, mother liked her".　　"So," asked the friend, "whathappened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".

　　有个小伙子发现，无论他带什么女孩子回家，妈妈都不赞成。一位朋友建议他，“你找一个像你母亲一样的女孩吧——你母亲肯定会喜欢她的”。这个小伙子就找啊找啊，终于找到了一个女孩。他告诉自己的朋友：“就像你说的，我找到了一个女孩，无论在感觉、说话、打扮，甚至烹饪手艺都很像母亲的，而且真的像你说的那样，妈妈很喜欢她。”“那么，”他的朋友问到，“发生了什么事?”“没事，”小伙子说，我父亲很讨厌她!”

　　适合小学启蒙阶段的英语小笑话阅读

　　(一)

　　那个"甜嘴"老公的真相

　　Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request tohis wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.　伯尼被邀请到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是请客的主人，在每个客人面前都称他的妻子为亲爱的、我的爱人、甜心等等。

　　Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that youhave been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head andwhispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

　　伯尼于是对莫里斯说：“你真是很好，结婚这么多年后，你还是喊你妻子这么甜蜜的名字。”莫里斯则弯下腰来对伯尼轻声说：“告诉你实情吧，我3年前就忘记她的名字了。”

　　(二)

　　一公司的奸商

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told methat the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。电话是一位非常和蔼的男人接的，他说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for meto read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discouragebusiness?"

　　当时我真的被他的话感动了，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样拒绝生意么?”

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs ifwe let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　“事实上，这就是我们老板的主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我们让用户先自行修理打印机的话就能挣更多的钱。”

　　关于适合小学启蒙阶段的英语小笑话

　　(一)

　　相亲,逃跑的好借口

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

　　和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。

　　Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have anexcuse to leave.

　　他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。

　　When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I havesome bad news. My grandfather just died."

　　当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”

　　"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　(二)

　　奈何娶妻不慎

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.

　　“很遗憾，”她说，“你活不成了。”