2016英语幽默笑话大全
笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语幽默笑话大全，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默笑话大全精选
(一)
尴尬的搭讪 awkward dating
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he.
在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。
One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗?”
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
“对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
“我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她?”
(二)
想象中的猫和老鼠 Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm soscared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。
“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”
“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。
“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。
英语幽默笑话大全阅读
(一)
最"表里不一"的英语成语翻译辨误
1. A watched pot never boils.
[误译] 眼睛盯着看的壶永远不会开。
[正译] 心急锅不开。
2. Better safe than sorry.
[误译] 安全比遗憾好。
[正译] 最好不要去冒险。
3. Good wine needs no bush.
[误译] 好酒不需要做广告。
[正译] 酒好不怕巷子深。
4. I am all ears.
[误译] 我浑身上下都是耳朵。
[正译] 我在洗耳恭听。
5. If the cap fits, wear it.
[误译] 如果帽子合适，就戴着吧。
[正译] 要是言之中肯，就接受吧。
6. In for a penny, in for a pound!
[误译] 赌一便士是赌，赌一英镑也是赌。
[正译] 一不做，二不休。
7. It takes two to tango.
[误译] 跳探戈舞需要两个人。
[正译] 一个巴掌拍不响;孤掌难鸣。
8. It's all my eye!
[误译] 都是的我的眼睛。
[正译] 我根本不相信;胡说八道。
(二)
现代生活 MODERN LIFE
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands'faults.
"We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husbandalways complains about the food."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the other.
"Does it bother you?" "Why should it bother me?" her friend replied.
"if he can't only stand his own cooking?"
两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。
“我们结婚十五年了，”一个妇女说道，“每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。”
“真可恶!”另一个惊呼道。“难道你不烦吗?”
“我烦什么?”她的朋友答道。“他不过是忍受不了自己的烹调技术。”
英语幽默笑话大全学习
(一)
男人和女人来自不同的星球，同一句话在他们口中也有着不同的含义：1."Nothing, forget it"
1."没什么，算了吧!"
Female：You better figure out what you did wrong.
女人：你最好自己搞清楚到底做错了什么。
Male：Just quit talking about it, jesus.
男人：我勒个去，拜托就别提这事儿了。
2."Are you tired?"
2."你累吗?"
Female：Please don't go to sleep. I love talking to you.
女人：别去睡觉，我喜欢跟你聊天。
Male：Genuinely curious as to whether or not you are sleepy.
男人：他真的只是很好奇你是不是很困。
3."I'm cold."
3."我很冷。"
Female：Get a blanket and cuddle with me.
女人：去拿条毯子来，抱着我让我取暖。
Male：There's pretty cold. I should probably get a blanket or some shit.
男人：真的挺冷的。我得去拿条毯子或是别的啥。
4."Leave me alone."
4."别管我。"
Female：Please don't go.
女人：别走，别离开我。
Male：Get out of my fucking face.
男人：滚开，离我远点儿!
5."I love you."
5."我爱你。"
Female：Tell me you do more.
女人：告诉我你爱我爱得更多。
Male：I love you just that I don't expect a stupid fucking response.
男人：你知道我爱你就够了，别给我来个蠢透了的烂回答。
(二)
The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"
Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."
学监(非常生气)：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被踢进这蛙池里，浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”
二年级学生(恭顺地)：“右腿，先生。”
