开心一刻英语幽默笑话

　　人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。下面是学习啦小编带来的开心一刻英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!

　　开心一刻英语幽默笑话精选

　　An Exact Number

　　A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.

　　"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.

　　"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.

　　"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.

　　"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.

　　Notes:

　　(1) New Mexico 新墨西哥(美国州名)

　　(2) be amazed at 对…感到惊诧

　　(3) dinosaur n.恐龙(已绝迹的巨大爬行动物)

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F)：

　　① The tourist was frightened by the dinosaur bones lying about.

　　② The elderly native American served as a guide.

　　③ The guide knew exactly how old the bones were.

　　④ The guide told the tourist the history of the bones.

　　⑤ The guide believed what the geologist had said.

　　准确数字

　　一位游客在新墨西哥游览。他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。

　　“这些化石有多长的历史?”游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人。他是作向导的。

　　“整整十亿零三年了。”

　　“你怎么这么肯定?”游客问道。

　　“哦，”向导回答道，“一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”

　　练习参考答案：

　　①F②T③F④F⑤T

　　开心一刻英语幽默笑话阅读

　　Violin Lessons

　　"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.

　　"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.

　　"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.

　　"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."

　　"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.

　　He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.

　　The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.

　　She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.

　　"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.

　　She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.

　　Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.

　　When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."

　　Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.

　　"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"

　　Notes:

　　(1) fair adj.公平的 (2) keep one's promise信守诺言

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文选择正确答案：

　　① Sarah's father was not pleased with her because_____ .

　　A. she wanted to team the violin

　　B. she was rude

　　C. she was always asking for things

　　D. she was noisy

　　② Sarah's father said he would pay for violin lessons for _____.

　　A. two weeks

　　B. six weeks

　　C. a month

　　D. six months

　　③ Sarah played the violin_____ .

　　A. very well

　　B. very badly indeed

　　C. badly

　　D. well

　　④ Her father gave her more lessons because_____ .

　　A. she played well enough

　　B. she was so interested in playing the violin

　　C. he could buy more apartments cheaply because of Sarah's noise

　　D. he liked the violin

　　(5) From this passage we can see that _____.

　　A. Sarah had a talent for music

　　B. Sarah's father was very generous with money

　　C. Sarah's father was a selfish man

　　D. Sarah's father told her the truth

　　小提琴课

　　“爸爸，我能学拉小提琴吗?”小莎拉问她的父亲。她总是要东西，因此她爸爸很不高兴。

　　“你花了我很多钱，莎拉，”他说，“开始你想学骑马，然后想学跳舞，然后是游泳。现在又想学拉小提琴。”

　　“我会每天都拉的，爸爸，”莎拉说，“我会认真练的。”

　　“好吧，”她爸爸说。“下面是我要做的：我会为你付六个星期的小提琴课的钱，六个星期后你必须拉首曲子给我听。如果你拉得很好，你可以继续上小提琴课，要是你拉得很差，你就不要再学了。”

　　“行。爸爸，”莎拉说，“这很公平。”

　　他很快就找到了一个好的小提琴老师，莎拉就开始学拉提琴了。尽管学费很高，但她爸爸遵守了诺言。

　　六个星期很快就过去了。该莎拉拉提琴给爸爸听了。

　　她走进起居室说：“我准备好拉提琴给你听了。”

　　“好哇，莎拉，”她爸爸说。“开始吧。”

　　她开始拉了。她拉得很差，发出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友，朋友用手捂着耳朵。

　　莎拉拉完一曲，她父亲说：“拉得好，莎拉。你可以继续学琴了。”

　　莎拉高兴地跑出门去。她父亲的朋友对他说：“你已经花了不少钱了，但她还是拉得很差。”

　　“噢，的确如此，”她爸爸说，“但自从她开始学小提琴，我就可以很便宜地买下这幢楼的五个公寓。再过六周，我就可以拥有整幢楼啦!”

　　练习参考答案：

　　①C②B③B④C⑤C

　　开心一刻英语幽默笑话学习

　　Which Month Did He Go Away

　　When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

　　The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

　　Notes:

　　(1) he has had his bead nod 他点

　　(2) blame sb.for sth.为某事责点头备某人

　　Exercises:

　　根据短文填空：

　　① When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it_____ tightening speed.

　　② You shouldn't wait any longer after he has _____his head nod.

　　③ So he was blamed _____no manners.

　　④ Then you can lift your body _____Thus the ceremony will be perfect.

　　⑤ When Jack looked up, he found his uncle _____.

　　几月走的

　　杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。”

　　第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：“我叔叔几月走的?”

　　练习参考答案：

　　① at ② had ③ for ④ up ⑤ gone