雅思复议申请全攻略之一：复议作文

　　金老师分析：

　　这个题目结尾问同意不同意，在开头段回应任务的时候，一定会清楚表明你的同意或不同意的意向，来完成任务回应的初步评分!

　　例如：尽管人们使用高科技交流手段，应该是不会丧失面对面交流能力的。因此我不同意题目中的说法!

　　在这样的任务回应前提下，我们的主体段会论证为什么人们不会因电话和电脑的交流就丧失面对面交流的能力。

　　比如：①网上的交流和电话的交流很大一部分也是基于语言系统的，是面对面交流的延伸 ②今天的视频电话和网上的视频聊天等于是远程的面对面交流 ③面对面交流是人在长期的进化过程中形成的能力，不会因为不常使用就丧失

　　当然，根据评分要求，我们一定要写电话交流和互联网交流的频繁使用也会在一定程度上影响到人们的实际交流能力，因为在实际交流的场景中出现的一些情况，有很多是在远程交流时遇不到。这也说明了为什么有些人长期在网上，见到真人或在真实环境里，就变得手足无措!但这不是全人类的情况，是因人而异的。

　　以上是正常对本文的任务回应和逻辑论证的一个建议系统。那么有很多考生在写这个文章的时候走题了，也就是没有任务回应，不回答文章的问题，逻辑论述不切题!于是，就算词句尚可，也不能拿到6分就6分以上。

　　复议作文题目

　　“More people are using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. Agree or disagree?”

　　文章点评

　　In recent years, the proliferation use of electronic devices has brought much convenience to the public. However, the over-reliance of telecommunication may engender a detrimental effect to people’s face-to-face communication skill. In my opinion, the real chat should not be completely replaced by electronic devices.

　　开头段对题目理解有些偏颇，没有讨论被完全取代的问题。一种能力的丧失不一定是一种事物和方式被取代!

　　With the assistance of cell phones and computers, the development of human’s society has accelerated. The biggest benefit we get from modern technology is that we have increasing access to contact with our partners as quickly as possible. By communicating online, not only entrepreneurs can accomplish their business with oversea clients, but also university professors are able to exchange expertise with other scholars. Besides, if we are remote from home, chatting online is also an effective way to keep the family bonds with our relatives. In general, in this information era, electronic devices enlarge our social circle and boost working efficiency of global village.

　　On the contrary, it is also worthwhile to mention that some people have the addition to relying on online community, especially youngsters. With the attraction of social networking sites and the fulfillment of making friends, they are more likely to perceive the virtual world as reality. There is a phenomenon that during days off people just wait for the messages from their online friends by clicking the mouse rather than make a real chat with soul mates. Consequently, estrangement and alienation among friendships is prone due to the serious lack of face-to-face communication.

　　文章应该是论证真实交流是否会被互联网交流影响而丧失，如果不会，为什么不会!但从文章主题段可以看出，本文只说了互联网交流的好处，以及沉迷于这样高科技交流的问题，没有清晰回应任务并给出切题的逻辑分析!另外词句也有细节偏误!

　　In conclusion, I do not think that we should restrict the frequency of using electronic devices so as to enhance the interpersonal skill. However, it is high time to find decent emotion and passion of communication instead of chatting with mate randomly.

　　金老师点评：

　　如果我是考官，根据评分标准，本文我最多给三个6一个5，任务回应5分，逻辑、词、句各6分，这样还是5.5。

　　但文章的词句还算可以，文章自成的逻辑也相对合理!如果有考官给5776，也就是任务回应5分，逻辑、句式7分，用词6分，本文就能到就6分。不过从词句偏误来看句式给7分的可能基本没有!而由于任务回应不好，逻辑也不可能到7!

　　不管怎么评，反正一项拿到分数，就拖了后腿。因此很多考生的文章由于偏题和没有回应任务，就会停留在5-5.5，而冲不上6分!

　　本文复议，要从词句用法和行文能力上打动二审考官，给出单词或句式中任何一样7分，才能复议到6分。这个不太容易。所以这篇文章复议的成功性我看不大!

　　本文作者：偏锋出国(公众号：偏锋出国)

　　本文为原创文章，版权归作者所有，未经授权不得转载!