高考英语满分作文点评与评析

玉莲分享 2017-05-04 10:15:31

　　我们从高考英语的满分作文中返回到点评，看它们的出色之处，学习借鉴它们的优点。下面是学习啦小编给大家整理的高考英语满分作文点评，供大家参阅!

　　重庆高考英语满分作文点评

　　【试题回放】

　　据报道，7岁的美国女孩Amy Bruce得知自己身患肺癌(lung cancer)后处于极度的痛苦之中，美国抗癌协会(ACS)决定，每当Amy收到一封慰问信，就给她增加3美分的治疗款。

　　假如你是新华中学的学生李华，请你用英文给Amy写一封慰问信，主要内容包括：

　　自我介绍

　　得知的情况

　　表示鼓励

　　打算为她做什么

　　祝她早日康复

　　注意：

　　1. 信的格式已为你写好

　　2. 信中不得出现你的真实情况。

　　3. 词数100左右。

　　4. 请在答题卡上作答。

　　Dear Amy,

　　I’m Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. I’m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! I’m sure you will win. It is reported that the America anti-cancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　[名师点评]

　　本文依照要求，涵盖了所有要点。文章使用了高中常见的句式，如I?m sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比较好。作者对定语从句的使用恰到好处地修饰了文章，行文自然而通顺，值得学习。

　　积累卡片

　　好词1.realize v.意识到2.promise v.允诺3.donate v.捐赠

　　好句1、I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain.

　　我很遗憾地得知你身患肺癌，给你带来了巨大的痛苦。

　　好处：which引导限制性定语从句。

　　2、So, stand up and fight against the disease!

　　因此，坚强地与疾病做斗争吧!

　　好处：掷地有声，语言准确。

　　高考英语满分作文点评

　　作文题目

　　假设你是李华，你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文，来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提供的信息，写信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为25平方米，月租500元。

　　注意：1、词数：100左右;2、参考词汇：房租—Tent(n.).

　　作品一：

　　I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.

　　Hope you will come here soon!

　　All the best!

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文格式正确，意思表述完整，行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用，还使用了以‘which，’引导的非限定性定语从句，从而使文章层次分明，富于变化，不愧为考场佳作。

　　作品二：

　　Dear Bob,

　　Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.

　　I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.

　　Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport,see you.

　　Best wishes !

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文格式正确，内容完整，表述清楚，衔接紧密流畅，时态语态使用准确，特别是结尾末段适度的发挥，既充实了内容，又符合逻辑，成为本文与众不同的亮点。

　　湖北高考英语满分作文点评

　　【试题回放】假设你是卜曼宜，你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。

　　要点：1. 问题：手机不响铃，不能发短信;该产品已售完，无法更换;型号新，无配件，无法维修。2. 要求：公司应尽快予以更换。

　　注意：1. 词数为100左右;

　　2. 参考词汇：配件—— spare part;

　　3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好(不计入你所写词数);

　　4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。

　　Dear Sir，

　　I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, P.R. China. Ten days after that, it didn’t ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.

　　Thank you for your consideration.

　　Sincerely yours,

　　Bu Manyi

　　【名师点评】

　　本文内容要点齐全，语言丰富，结构合理，如头两句说明了购买手机后发现故障的情况，中间部分说明了无法维修而必须让公司更换手机的原委，最后明确提出自己的要求，明白流畅，将题目所提出的要点全部表达清楚，较好的完成了任务。全文以一般过去时为基调，结合主动语态与被动语态，并使用了so, but, therefore 等连接词，使文章结构完整严密。固定短语，如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用，使文章的语言显得地道而精炼。

　　积累卡片英汉互译

　　好词1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.绝望的 3. consideration n.体谅

　　好句To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.

　　令我失望的是，他说因为在中国是新款手机，所以没有配件来修理。

　　评析：复杂句的组织; to my disappointment, 常用短语。

　　江苏高考英语满分作文点评

　　【试题回放】实现有效的沟通，建立良好的人际关系，不仅要善于言表，更要学会倾听。请你根据下表中所提供的信息，写一篇题为“Being a Good Listener” 的英文演讲稿。

　　为何倾听表示尊重，增进理解，建立良好的人际关系

　　谁来倾听家长倾听孩子理解孩子，消除代沟，……

　　老师倾听学生了解学生，满足需求，……

　　同学相互倾听增进友谊，互帮互学，……

　　怎样倾听(请考生联系自己拟定内容，列举两至三点。)

　　注意：

　　1、对所给要点，逐一陈述，适当发挥，不要简单翻译。

　　2、词数150左右。开头和结尾已经写好，不计入总词数。

　　3、演讲稿中不得提及考生所在学校及本人姓名。

　　Good afternoon, everyone.

　　The topic of my speech today is “Being a Good Listener”.

　　Good listening can always show respect, promote understanding, and improve interpersonal relationship.

　　Many people suggest that parents should listen more to their children, so they will understand them better, and find it easy to narrow the generation gap; teachers should listen more to their students, then they can meet their needs better, and place themselves in a good relationship with their students; students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

　　What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others. Show your respect and never stop others till they finish their talk; show you are interested by a supportive silence or a knowing smile; be open-minded to different opinions even though you don’t like them. In a word, good listening can really enable us to get closer to each other.

　　Thank you for your listening!

　　【名师点评】

　　这是一篇感情真挚、热情洋溢的演讲稿，文中大量运用排比句型，不但准确流畅地表达出题目中所提供的信息，而且体现出作者熟练运用英语的能力以及不俗的文采。第三段中所使用的相同结构的复合句式，将倾听的对象及其作用阐述得淋漓尽致;而第四段中用一系列的祈使句议论应如何倾听，则更进一步地增强了这篇演说稿的说服力。

　　积累卡片英汉互译

　　好词1.promote v .促进 2. interpersonal adj.人际的

　　3. generation gap. 代沟 4. open-minded adj. 虚心的

　　好句1. students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

　　同学之间应该互相倾听，这样他们可以互相学习和帮助，也会形成友谊。

　　评析：复杂句的组合，被动句的使用。

　　2. What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others.

　　我想强调的是我们每个人都应该更多的倾听他人。

　　评析：复合句的使用。

　　北京高考英语满分作文点评

　　【试题回放】假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为校刊英语园地写一篇题为“Our Spring Outing” 的英文稿件。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程。

　　注意：词数不少于60.

　　提示词：游乐园amusement park 垃圾箱bin

　　Last Thursday, we had a class meeting to discuss where to go for our spring outing. We came up with several choices such as going boating, climbing a mountain, and going to an amusement park. Finally, we decided to go mountain climbing.

　　The next day, we set off early in the morning. While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view . However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels. Then we started to pick up the litter and put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-recycling bin respectively.

　　We were tired but happy.

　　【名师点评】

　　本情景作文的内容要点如下：1.讨论;2.爬山;3.检拾别人的垃圾;4.投放垃圾。内容要点可用不同方式表达。本文覆盖了所有内容要点，较好地完成了试题规定的任务。其中，写作主题突出，详略得当，应用了较多的语法结构和词汇，而且有效的使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文机构紧凑。本文叙述清楚，描写细致，准确运用了很多富有表现力的词和句型，例如：“set off early”，“enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view”, ”were shocked to see litter here and there “等，将活动的情形很形象地描述了出来。

　　积累卡片英汉互译

　　好词1 set off 出发2. litter n.废弃物3.respectively adv.分别地

　　好句1.While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view .

　　在爬山时，我们享受着温暖的阳光和美丽的风景。

　　1. However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels.

　　然而，当我们登上山顶，被眼前的一幕惊呆了：瓶子和香蕉皮这样的废弃物到处都是。

　　评析：细节描写，生动形象。“shock”一词也用得生动传神。

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