托福写作结构如何安排
托福写作部分,想要拿到高分,对于结构的安排也是不容忽视的。结构的合理性,才能够让我们的作文思路更加清晰。那么具体的应该如何安排好相应的结构呢?下面小编为大家整理了详细的内容,供大家参考。
托福写作结构如何安排
首先由明线入手的思路可以不太讲究结构,这点的评论请看后文;然而由暗线着手的议论却必须注意结构,因为暗线采用的是和题目本身关系不大的视角,写得好是一气呵成发人深省,写得不慎重就会失之毫厘,谬之千里,走题走到天边去。
接上文,仍以题目做示范。笔者第二次拟提纲,以理暗渡,就不能像第一次一样只写论点,而得把首段,论点,甚至每段在整篇文章中的作用也一并写出,才能避免下笔时走题。
首段:民以食为天,食物在人类生活中的重要性不可言喻,就连食物的准备方式也可能极大影响人类文化,进而影响个人生活质量(引入社会心理学,设置暗线,为全文奠定基调)以现代生活实况分析,食品速食化导致人类生活质量下降的趋向比较明显。
第一论证段:(身体健康层面)饮食文化改变,传统有益健康而消耗时间的料理方式被摈弃,垃圾食品大行其市,天人合一,顺应生理规律的文化被断绝。(注:这里因为不是从营养,而是从生物规律论述对身体的影响,所以前文所论的paradox此处可不考虑)
第二论证段:从速食流行原因论证人类行为文化改变, 高节奏的高压生活必然促使身体早衰(身体与心理健康两个层面综合)
第三论证段:(心理健康层面)行为高速化也会导致对情感的无法顾及甚至冷漠,人类情感文化变化,并且朝不利方向。
结尾(这在提纲里其实可有可无,提纲毕竟只是具体化的思路,并不是成文。依照文章具体的论证手法,内容,结尾可以个有千秋,只要把握住一条,符合全文主旨,就可以了,提纲里就算写了,很多时候也是无用功)
用题目分析到这里,文章连雏形都已经出来了,可是究竟什么是结构呢?
回到“文章是被记录下来的表达”这个原则。结构既然是写作的必须注意事项,就必然帮助表达。对于一篇议论,作者必须大量旁征博引才能令人信服得表述自己的观点,这其中牵扯着概念的重要性顺序-----用来证明全文立场的概念是论点,是最重要的概念;用来证明论点的概念是佐证,是次等重要的概念。
所谓结构,最基本的用途是将文章所有用入的概念分段,一个论点与它的所有佐证为一段,不能佐证证明的是第二论点,却在第一论点的段落。-------这就是所谓的unity.
结构的第二用途仍然是帮助表达,从逻辑思路方面。好的议论能抓住人心,令人信服,首先必须让人能看懂作者的思路,让你说明在学习场所安装电视有无弊端,你却一会说电视节目的差异,一会说学生的素质如何,读者不知所云,自然不会被你说服。每个段落和论题的联系。作者本人知道并没有用,必须表现出来。说完节目差异加一句“不同节目对学生的利弊不同,不可一概而论”,讲过学生素质补充“素质差的学生群体使学习场所吵杂,安不安电视影响都不大”,将论点间,论点和论题间紧密结合起来,保证文章思路流畅,明白易懂,就是结构中过渡句的功效,使得行文达到ETS要求的progression和coherence。
具体把结构落实在IBT独立作文上,就是两点。
1.会分段。要清楚自己的行文思路,知道自己有几个论点。首段表明论点,废话不要讲。论证一段一个论点,不可以交叉。一个论段里要有论点句,其它所有句子都为论证这个点,废话不要讲。尾段总结论点共性,映证首段观点,废话不要讲……
2.会过渡。要记住必须过渡。要明白你为什么过渡-----如果这个过渡不证明论点和论题间的关系,而证明论点间的关系,要确定这个新论点也能证明论题。你的过渡不是为自己的文章过渡,而是帮读者的思维过渡,引领他们走进新的思维,所以必须确认过渡的方向,你是否正带着你的读者而离开你的论题。
从这两点观测,笔者在前文提到的明线(支持论题)贯穿的思路在拟提纲时不需要注意结构,就好解释了。因为明线的论点注定不会跑题,不用太在意过渡问题,只要分段恰当就可以了,而这点,下笔时留神就足够了。
托福独立写作的常见问题与应对技巧
托福独立写作题目相对而言比较多,经典文库中共计185个,但是每年ETS也会研发出新题,即使是在老题的基础做些许的改动,母题的数量也使得“将所有题目写一遍”这一任务变成mission impossible,而且即使做到了,也是一件投资回报率极低的行为,就算考试的时候出现了原题,估计也不可能回忆所有之前写的细节内容。所以针对独立写作部分的备考我们要更多的总结规律,通过总结来节省备考时间。TOEFL独立写作常见FAQ整理如下:
三选一题型如何处理
很多同学不知道三选一的文章结构应该如何处理。这里其实三选一并不复杂,只需要熟记两个注意点就可以轻松应付:一是三者都要提及;二是并没有唯一的正确结构,结构应该根据题目灵活的选择。我们来看一道例题。
Essay Topic
Which one isthe most important for teacher of high school?
1. The ability to help students plan for their future;
2. The ability to find the students who need help most and help them;
3. Teach students how to learn outside the classroom.
就这道题来讲,题型基本结构的选择有两种:三项能力都重要,但是第一项最重要;或者,第一项是重要的,而第二项和第三项是不重要的。其他的文章结构都是这两种的变体。我们拿第二种结构举例:
总论点:规划未来能力最重要(vs. 发现需要帮助的同学 &教会自学)
主体段1:学生最需要规划,而只有老师有能力提供
主体段2:发现需要帮助的能力不重要,因为学生自己会来找
主体段3:课外自学不重要,高中生没有课外时间
The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely the most important capability for high school teachers.
To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidance about their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it. I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a great portion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement for graduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in the US, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games or love affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choice of universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made matters worse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidance concerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, but simply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority of our parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the college application process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is an utter mistake, for what they did was simply giving us the timeline of the application process, translating our personal statements and recommendation letters from Chinese into English, and finally mailing out all our materials to the US. All of these simple tasks could be performed by ourselves, and these misfortunes surely could have been avoided if we had the luck to meet more competent teachers, with the ability to warn students and their parents about the black-hearted agencies and lay out lucid plans for students’ future.
The capability to find the students who need assistance most and help them, on the other hand, is not that imperative. The reason for this is quite simple, since high school students would come to teachers voluntarily if they are in serious trouble. In other words, many times students don’t want to be bothered by a teacher who treats them like a baby-sitter. As for the “help” part, I firmly hold the faith that all teachers are already equipped with the willingness to solve student’s problem gladly, using their prehistoric powers, no matter how difficult the situation can be. So the willingness to help students should be the minimum standard to be qualified as a teacher.
Similarly, the skill to teach students how to learn outside the classroom is completely unnecessary. For one, most high school students have no time outside their classrooms at all, as all their spare time is already occupied by cram school or by extracurricular activities. Even in the rare circumstance that some students may have free time, parents could always play the part of their instructor on how to self-study.
本篇文章在结构的处理上,做到了清晰、简单。第一个主体段在证明第一项能力是非常必要的。第二、三主体段在分别证明第二、三项能力是不重要的。整个段落结构很明确。这样会更容易获得高分。大家要注意避免结构过于复杂和混乱。
如何丰富整篇文章的结构?
先说答案:另外一个大家经常会有疑惑的问题就是:我的三个主体段全部都是讲故事,好像手法太单一了,会不会被扣分?如何丰富?答案是:有可能;以及,偶尔的使用纯解释型段落。众所周知,TOEFL写作中展开手法有两种,exemplification和explanation。例证显然是二者中更简单的一个。因此,大部分同学都更倾向于使用例证。因为它更容易快速上手,并且大家可以通过举例来展开具体化的细节,从而获得高分。但注意,如果三个主体段全部是讲故事展开,未免会有语言太差的嫌疑。因此,除了例证,我们文章中最好可以稍微涉及到一些说理部分。
举例和说理分别的优势?
大家现在可以重新观察一下范文三个主体段的展开手法。三个主体段一共444字。其中第一段259字,第二段116字,第三段69字。第一段的展开手法为例证(讲故事),第二、三段均为解释。大家明显感受到例证的优势即为能够更轻松的展开出有效并具体化的细节,或俗称“好凑字”。解释的好处为语言简练,表达效率高,文章的递进性、节奏会更紧凑。
举例和说理分别的劣势?
例证在TOEFL写作中并无太明显的劣势。解释的劣势就比较明显了。同样的一个分论点,有的同学用例证可以很轻松写到200字,而解释只能说到100字。有的同学可能有个刻板印象:讲故事的语言通常比较简单,句式单一,因此不容易得高分。注意,讲故事语言和句式也是可以复杂的;或者大家可以选择简单但地道的表达,可同样可以获得满分。
答题战略、以及举例和说理的优劣小结
因此我们以后考场上的答题战略很简单。第一段为例证段落。目的为使劲凑字,尽量直接写满200字。第二、三段可以选择简短的小故事或者解释性段落,分别写到60~100字左右。这样主体段已经达到至少320字,再加上开头结尾段,可以轻松满足350字的字数要求。
如何练好说理?
说理对语言和句式的要求要明显高于例证。因此一定要有扎实的基本功的支持才能够写出漂亮的说理段落。关于句式的练法,可以参考强化班上的句型基本构成以及句型转化练习。
如何练好例证?
例证的套路大家都很熟悉。很多同学的问题出在没思路上。比如,一道题目问说:我们的闲钱应该拿去旅游好,还是存到银行好?有同学说,存起来更好,因为可以未雨绸缪。这是一个很好的分论点,那么如何以例证的方式来展开呢?有同学说可以使用反证法:我有一个朋友Foosen,他就不存钱,后来他就死的很惨。用此例来强调存钱的必要性。大部分同学都能够想到这一步,问题会处在如何用故事来展开死的很惨,以及什么事情导致Foosen死的很惨。我们来看一篇来自万炜老师的范文:
To begin with, as a young man living in a big city, I need to start saving up from now on, because there are a lot of things in the future costing tons of money. Take my good friend Foosen for example. He is an optimistic guy who prefers to seize the day. He can spend all his salary within just two days either on luxuries or on trips. Before he was even 22, he already went around the whole Africa. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. Last year during his trip to South Africa, he accidentally broke his leg and had to go through surgery. However, since he could not cover the expense, he had to call everybody to borrow money. It took so long for him to collect the money that the surgery was delayed. As a result, the recovery period for him was 2 months longer than everyone else’s. Now, this example might be a particular instance, and it is out of his expectation. Nonetheless, in today’ssociety, even the potential spending within our expectation is already quite worrying. For instance, in Beijing, if I wish to purchase a 30-squaremeter apartment, it would cost me over 3 million yuan; if I want to invite, say, 20 friends to my wedding, I would have to pay over 200,000 yuan; not to mention if I have a child and want to support his education, it would cost at least 50,000 yuan per year just for him to go to kindergarten. It aches mejust to look at these horrifying numbers. If I don’t save up for my future, there would be no future. (275 words)
故事描述了主人公Foosen,由于是乐天派并且坚持活在当下,进而展开月光、全世界各地旅游;到之后有一次意外摔断腿,需要做手术,但没有存钱,从而导致恢复期比普通人长了两个月。大部分的同学就是这些故事的“细节”想不到,或者没思路。如何解决?很简单,就是多看。因为讲故事并没有一个明显的模式或公式可以使用。According to a Personalized Education: Schooling for Tomorrow published by OECD in 2006, “Brains have the ability to generate rulesfrom examples. All that is needed, therefore, are the right examples – lotsand lots of them.”其实就是我们中学老师总的说的那句话,“量的积累产生质的飞跃。”大家想练好例证,只需要找到优秀的讲故事型范文,仿写10篇左右,自然会掌握规律。关于仿写的方法,大家可以关注我的公众号”Foosen资料库”进一步了解。
托福写作范文:中学生应该在上大学前花时间工作旅行吗
Students should spend at least one year working or travelling before they go to the university.
【题目大意】: 中学生是否应该在上大学之前拿出至少一年去工作或旅行。主观点可以同意,因为一让学生放松,二可以让学生学到新的技能。
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Students should take at least a year to work or travel before beginning college.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: After high school, students should have at least one year to work or travel. It's better than attending university straight away.
托福写作模板及参考答案:
托福独立写作范文一
The prevailing notion is that high school students are under huge pressure. Then appears a controversy whether students should have one year to engage in other things before they attend their university. After weighing the pros and cons, I am favor of the opinion that having a gap year can produce many benefits.
First off, students can benefit a lot from traveling. As everyone knows, to maintain strong competitiveness, high school students are required to accomplish a wide range of either required or optional curriculums at school and the rights to develop their own interests have been deprived relentlessly, which has proven to be a detriment of their growth. Instead of pursuing their bachelor degree without pause in the college, traveling can help them regain chances to cultivate and perfect their personalities and release pressure. For instance, many more college graduates are reported to be indifferent to the society and show no mercy on those in need, part of which owes a lot to the fact that schools lay more emphasis on cultivating students’ academic abilities and downplay the importance of developing their overall qualities. Traveling to those places in poverty can give students a sight of those impoverished families to call on the sense of responsibility. Besides, by paying a visit to some places of interest like the Great Wall or the pyramid in Egypt, students can approach the greatness of diverse culture. What’s more, the direct access to the natural world can appease students’ inner uproar. Accordingly, a gap year can be a great asset for high school graduates.
Secondly, by taking part-time jobs, not only can students accumulate sufficient social experience but also earn some money to reduce financial stress on their families. Though economy in China keeps growing at a rate of almost 9 percent in the recent, average citizens still suffer huge pressure especially when the slump of stock market took a heavy toll on them and the majority of stock investors withdrew their money and reinvest to the real estate, further increasing pressure on the ordinary because of the increasing prices of housing. For most families from small cities and rural areas, college tuition still appears to be a great burden on them and by taking part-time jobs, students can earn some wages to relieve financial pressure, such as serving as a restaurant attendant that enables students to better develop their communication techniques and learn more about how to meet the demands of consumers or working as a salesman that will be an entirely different experience from high schools and can lead to the cultivation of the ability of presenting customers the advantages of products. Obviously, a gap year means a lot to high school graduates.
Admittedly, there is another voice that high school students are supposed to start their campus life immediately after graduation from high schools. To be more specific, maintaining high-efficiency study can lead students to be better acclimated to their college life. Instead of going to college soon, a gap year may disrupt their study schedule and weaken their learning skills. It appears to be sensible, however; the ultimate goal of attending a university is to seek a decent job and gaining social experience in advance makes students more conscious of which kind of area they are more interested in in the near future such as the serving industry or high-tech fields.
In conclusion, high school graduates had better live a different life temporarily before they go to college. (582 words)
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